Tag Archives: CPV

International Child To Parent Abuse Conference

On October 14th, 2024, Parental Education Growth Support (PEGS) hosted an International Child to Parent Abuse (CPA*) conference online.  The conference was well attended, provided British Sign Language Interpreters for every presentation, and there were a range of speakers from around the globe with the goal of fostering “a collaborative environment where stakeholders can share knowledge and strategies to better support those impacted by CPA” (PEGSupport.co.uk).

A clear thread which ran through the day was the way in which different professionals, practitioners, and researchers were using a public health approach to understand CPA. 

The first speaker, His Honor Judge James Burbidge, highlighted that substance misuse is often found in cases that are seen in the Crown Court, providing two case examples of adult children, one was initially charged with attempted murder of her mother, the second was an adult child who had sexually assaulted his mother and planned to physically harm her. Julie Mackay provided case examples of patricide in her afternoon presentation. Substance misuse and serious mental health issues of the adult children were considered a prominent feature in every presentation. Amanda Warburton Wynn’s case study of a grandson who murdered his grandmother also referred to significant mental health issues and the pressures of mutual caring responsibilities. The lack of support for those supporting children or grandchildren with mental health challenges is a clear issue which has led to terrible outcomes for whole families.

More positively, PEGS have been working with Brightstar for many years, and they provide sessions for young people at risk of causing harm through a needs-based understanding (i.e. if a person has their needs met, they are less likely to cause harm). With a Believe, Belong, Become throughline, Brightstar begin each session with boxing, helping young people to meet their affective needs and regulate their emotions, they then continue to a behavioural session talking through thoughts and feelings (affective needs, relational needs). The importance of recognising unmet needs was also outlined by Jeremy Todd (Family Lives) through a violence-reduction programme of work in which parents are supported to understand and not normalise of minimise the harm, which includes supporting children with their neurodivergent, mental or emotional health needs.

Other, specific, CPA intervention programmes were outlined by Dr Andy Newman. A particular challenge in ‘what works’ for CPA is the lack of consistency, lack of long term data, and whilst many of the interventions mentioned have shown promising outcomes, it is clear that there is no one-size fits all, with some interventions being applied on populations they were not designed for (i.e. positive behavioural support for autistic children when it was designed for children with learning disability). What is clear is that there are many excellent services available, so much so that responses may be positive because of the good working practices, rather than the usefulness of a particular intervention.

NHS Safeguarding reported similar challenges, particularly regarding the relevance of neurodivergence and poor mental health in this area; that diagnoses are not labels, but a useful lens in which to understand a child’s experiences in the world. This concurred with Amanda Holt’s findings, who also found that parents would focus on the wellbeing of their child over their own safety. Both presenters, as well as Dr Silke Meyer in the afternoon session highlighted that a whole family approach, one which recognises that they have individual needs, as well as family needs, is important. Furthermore, recognise the wider family or systems, as many children live outside the family or with others in a parenting role.

A more systematic approach to tackling CPA was identified by Sarah Townsend who shared findings from her Winston Churchill Memorial Trust Travel Fellowship, exploring how New Zealand could learn from the UK and Australia when implementing policy guidance. How policy can stay ahead of progress is a challenge through, as highlighted by Emma Pickering, tech-facilitated abuse is evolving faster than policy-makers can keep up, and this has resulted in harmful artificial-intelligence generated imagery. Furthermore, just parents increasingly monitor their children’s locations using technology, children are doing the same for their parents.

How to help families through the lens of public health was clear throughout, with an emphasis on looking at how certain features of a person’s identity creating additional barriers to accessing support. Kate Fejfer spoke to how those from Eastern Europe have specific challenges when accessing support for domestic abuse more broadly, whereas Polly Harrar (CEO The Sharan Project) talked through the challenges South Asian families, and particular mothers, have when navigating CPA. Vulnerabilities of older adults was discussed by Rebecca Zirk, with Richard Robinson (Hourglass service) advocating for an older person’s commissioner, as Northern Ireland and Wales have one, but England and Scotland do not. 

PEGS is continuing to engage in a myriad of awareness raising activities of CPA, led by their founder Michelle John. Comments relating to the conference can be found on social media via #StandWithPEGS, and employers are encouraged to sign their CPA covenant to support any employees living with CPA.

Find out more about the event, and future PEGS events:  https://www.pegsevents.co.uk/

Nikki Rutter

*CPA is the preferred terminology of PEGS and the parents involved with them, and so is the language used throughout this blog.

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CPV: The podcast special

How do you consume your podcasts?

On the way to work on the train? Walking the dog? While you’re doing the ironing? Or do you find a quiet half hour to focus solely on the content? However you find the time, there are some great podcasts out the at the moment, focussing either specifically on children using harmful behaviour towards parents – CPV – or on different approaches to working with families to bring about a more healthy and hopeful life. These may be directed first and foremost towards professionals – offering guidance for work with families, or they may offer tips and strategies directly to those affected. Whatever you are looking for, they all remind us that this is something that is more prevalent than we might have imagined previously, but that there is hope when you find the right people who know their stuff!

By no means a definitive list, but here is a selection of some of the top podcasts regarding CPV.

The Adoption and Fostering podcast is now in its 9th year, with nearly 200 episodes in the library. Al Coates and Scott Casson-Rennie discuss a range of issues related to contemporary adoption and fostering, often with special guests. Many of the episodes touch on children’s aggressive behaviour towards parents and carers. A fair number focus on this issue specifically. While this is labelled as adoption and fostering, many in other fields will find topics of relevance.

Capa First Response launched Series 1 of their podcasts in early 2024 and already have a second series ready to go. Series 1 features conversations between founder Jane Griffiths, Senior Practitioner Matt Rider, and patron Helen Bonnick, and touched on more general issues regarding child to parent violence and abuse which come up frequently in discussion, while the next episodes will address more specific topics such as neurodiversity. There is a third series in the planning stage.

The NVR podcast is aimed both at professionals and families, with experts in the field discussing strategies, the rationale behind this way of working, and case studies amongst other things. Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) has a proven track record for work with families who have experienced trauma, and looks at ways to de-escalate a situation and build a supportive network around the family. Peter Jakob, Shila Desai, Jill Lubienski and Rachael Aylmer chat together and bring in special guests. The applications are broad, but again, many will touch on families where children are using violence and aggression, or where there are similar overlapping issues.

Sarah Fisher is an NVR practitioner who developed Connective Family, a practice supporting families where children are exhibiting challenging behaviour. Her podcasts are often shorter than others but full of down to earth advice and quick tips for busy families.

Interwoven Connections is a Canadian Organisation supporting ‘the tapestry of families and relationships formed through adoption, kinship and customary care’, particularly where children are using harmful behaviours towards parents and carers. They have a library of resources for parents including webinars and podcasts.

There are of course many other resources as well as these listed. You will find some listed on the Sound and Vision page, but I would also invite comments if you have suggestions of other relevant podcasts which have been helpful to you and which you can recommend to others on this subject!

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Learning from the internet

We are only just coming to the end of January, but it has been interesting already to read a number of papers which have been published online this month. Two particularly attracted my attention: that from Harries, Curtis, Skvarc, Benstead, Walker and Mayshak, and also this one from Cortina and Holt – ‘This is what happens to people who don’t spank their kids’: An analysis of YouTube comments to news reports of child to parent violence.

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Public Consultation on the Definition of Child to Parent Abuse

When the first Home Office guidance document for those working with what was then termed Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse was published in 2015, the need for a revision / update became clear very quickly as new understanding and methods of work developed. Amongst those insights was the prevalence among much younger children, impacting particularly the ways the behaviour was conceptualised; leading to problems around an agreed terminology and definition.

Over the years, countless researchers and reports have called for the establishment of a working group to consider these issues. We recognise that there remain many different terms in use, all for very particular reasons. But without agreed terminology and in the absence of an official definition, problems remain with the collection of data, the compilation of statistics, the commissioning of services, and – most importantly – the understanding and recognition by families of their experiences and the ability to ask for help in a way that is immediately understood.

After many years of meetings, changes of staff, changes of emphasis and focus on adult domestic abuse, the 2022 Policy Paper, Tackling Domestic Abuse included a commitment to developing a sector agreed definition; and I am thrilled to announce that we finally have a public consultation on the definition of child to parent abuse, which will include space to comment on terminology. The team at the Home Office have been working on this for many months, speaking to key stakeholders in order to produce the consultation framework. The consultation is open till 7th February, so please do take the time to have a look and send in your comments.

The organisers of this would particularly like to hear from those with lived experience: parents and young people, who are able to offer insights that may be missed by those researching and working in the field.

The Consultation document can be accessed here.

Any questions on the consultation should be addressed to the team at CPAConsultation@homeoffice.gov.uk

Thank you!!!!!!

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How do we keep funding going?

In March 2013, at a conference in Nottingham, a speaker warned us: we cannot make this a new thing – we have to help people understand it as something that is already their responsibility.

Indeed, the use of harmful, violent and aggressive behaviours towards parents and carers is not a new phenomenon, but the way we interpret it and seek to bring help has changed significantly in even the last 20 years. Not so much now about the tyrannical child, or a behavioural challenge or poor parenting, as about connection, communication and seeking for control, about mental health and an understanding of the very real risks faced by some parents. At the time of that conference, there were few specialist services in existence, and organisations were just coming to realise the extent of how many families in the UK and around the world were affected by child to parent violence. 

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Capa First Response gains further funding from The National Lottery Community Fund to continue to support families experiencing child/adolescent to parent abuse. 

Capa First Response is a remote resource for families, offering a 1-2-1 service tailored to each family’s situation. They offer support and advice, for both the adults and the children, with the focus on putting in place strategies to reduce harmful, explosive and controlling impulses, often referred to as abusive and violent behaviour in the home. 

Founded by Jane Griffiths in 2019 with an aim of providing support options for families who struggle to find help in their local area, Capa First Response has expanded over time to work not just with families in need, but also to train professionals working with families in order to allow more people access to help in this vital area. Jane has over 30 years of experience working with families, and for the past 11 years she has worked specifically with families where a child uses harmful behaviours towards a parent or caregiver.  

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Senior Practitioner wanted!

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Wishing you hope in the new year

Sometimes life doesn’t play out the way you hoped – or planned. For those living with children who use behaviour to express hurt, distress or anger, the reality can turn out to be very different. Those working in this field are getting hold of this idea properly and in that respect it’s been a good year – more awareness, more research, more funding and provision. But the truth remains that there is a long way still to go before everyone who needs it has access early on to support, in order to understand what is happening in their family and to make things safer and happier.

But I have to live in hope, however hard; and so I wish every family and everyone touched by CPV some hope for the new year. This time of year can feel very dark (in the northern hemisphere at least) but the light will grow stronger over the weeks ahead!

For myself, I look forward to continuing to build networks: to connect all those with an interest and curiosity; to linking up professionals and policy-makers to bring about system change; to bringing together people across continents to learn from eachother. This is your invitation to join the party! Get in touch. Tell us about your work. Share your own hopes and dreams. We cannot make the change on our own, but together we can do great things!

If you need help over the Christmas period, many services will have shorter hours and are closed some days. If you feel in danger then always consider calling the police or mental health services. Family Lives are closed 23rd – 27th December and 31st to 2nd January. The Samaritans will be open all over the holiday.

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Agreeing terms: It’s only helpful if it’s helpful

I wonder whether it is a peculiarly British thing that we have taken so long to decide on both a name and a definition? There is the need to be inclusive and not to offend, but also a strong sense of digging in of heels at times! Which is perhaps how come we still have both a myriad of letters and words for this type of harmful behaviour, and a lack of agreement on who to include, whether it is one phenomenon or many, whether they need to be distinguished within a typology – and most recently – what the upper age range might be.

Of all the reasons that have been given for making sure we agree terminology in work in the area of child to parent violence and abuse, the one that stands out for me is that families, practitioners and policy makers all need to share – and own – the language used. If not, then we risk losing people along the way, unable to access help or to adequately explain their experience. A couple of different initials and we have lost a load of data. Failing to agree and we start to look like a divided community.

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Awareness Raising Day

Almost every month – and week even – there seems to be a focus on raising awareness by a particular interest group, whether to do with health, families, disability or a hundred other things. A brilliant opportunity to shine the spotlight on an issue, bringing it to the front of people’s minds, campaigning for better understanding whether in the public eye, the media or government, and of course increasing support for those affected. It could certainly be argued that those working in the field of child to parent violence and abuse have been slow out of the blocks here, but it’s great to see that PEGS have taken this on board this year, with a planned CPA Awareness Day on October 14th. 

This autumn will mark the very first Child to Parent Abuse Awareness Day. On Friday 14th October, we’d love you to join us in a nationwide push to raise awareness of CPA and to campaign for more support for the families this issue impacts.

While many people work valiantly all year to raise awareness of this issue, focusing attention over one day can amplify the volume and lead to more people sitting up and listening, so take a look at the suggestions over on the PEGS website for things you can do on that day. It’s not an exhaustive list, so any contributions will be welcome, and your own ideas might inspire others to follow suit. 

Thanks to Michelle and all the team at PEGS for running with this!

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