PLEASE NOTE: THIS PAGE IS BEING OVERHAULED AND SOME INFORMATION MAY BE OUT OF DATE OR MISSING. MY APOLOGIES.
During the current Covid-19 crisis, it has been necessary for many service providers to adapt the way they offer help. Some support has always been offered online or by phone, and many agencies are now adapting what they offer to include an online service. However, we recognise that it is not always straightforward for a parent to make a phone call, or go online while living in close confined quarters with a child who may be monitoring calls and internet use. Sometimes it is possible to work around this for individual situations, so please do take a look at the avenues of support listed here (mostly for the UK at present) if you are in need of help at the moment.
If you are in immediate danger please call 999. The police are the most appropriate agency to support you when life is in danger, and they are often very understanding of issues around child and adolescent abuse.
Out of hours, or if you are unable to find other help, the following agencies offer a listening / advice service:
Samaritans Listening service
Domestic Abuse helpline Help, advice.
Young Minds Phoneline for parents.
Young people in need of urgent help regarding their mental health can contact the Young Minds Crisis Messenger service by texting YM to 85258. The Mix also provide free emotional support via phone, email or web chat. Visit their website for more information.
Around the country different bodies such as the Youth Offending Service, Domestic Violence agencies, or Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service may have developed a specialist approach for families in their area as the need became evident and they can be a good place to start. Often there will be individuals within an agency with specialist knowledge, offering understanding even where there is no bespoke service available.
NATIONAL SPECIALIST HELP
A number of organisations offer a national service. This may be specific to the family or young person’s situation, or may be available to all.
Capa First Response CIC (PLEASE NOTE THE CAPA WEBSITE IS BEING UPDATED AT THE MOMENT. FIND OUT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CONTACTING VIA TWITTER). A first response service, delivered by experienced professionals, Capa offers one-to-one online support for families in the UK and around the world where young people up to the age of 18 (or 25 if there is a secondary diagnosis) are using harmful behaviour directed towards their parents. A combination of approaches is used according to the situation of each family. The length of support is determined by the family’s needs. Funded and non-funded spaces available. Advice also available for professionals.
PEGS A range of different services for parents including peer support, advocacy, support programmes and one-to-one consultations. Delivered across the country online.
Family Lives Parentline, operated by Family Lives, offers live online chat, email support or a confidential helpline, for parents in England and Wales experiencing any form of stress or difficulty in their lives. (During the night, calls are redirected to the Samaritans helpline.)
Children 1st Telephone advice service and web chat for families in Scotland.
Parenting NI Leading parents’ helpline for families in Northern Ireland
HIJK (Help is Just Knowledge) An organisation offering a (paid for) 12 week web-based Advanced Parenting Skills programme based around the book Parenting a Violent Child
Substance use issues
Adfam Families with young people using drugs or alcohol, who are also violent or abusive, may be able to access support through groups known to Adfam. Since 2017, Adfam also offer a Befriending Service, whereby parents are supported by peer volunteers – in person, by phone or email. The Befrienders have personal experience of violence and abuse from their children. The service can be accessed here.
Adoption, Fostering, Special Guardianship and Kinship Care
PAC-UK Advice and support for adopters including children’s violence and abuse.
Adoption UK Phone and peer support for adoptive families.
Adoption UK (Wales) Support groups, training and call-backs, based on NVR, for adoptive families in Wales facing challenging behaviour or child to parent violence.
Family Futures UK New live online training to help with managing child to parent violence and aggression – for adoptive parents, foster carers, kinship carers, special guardians & relatives of care experienced children (specific dates)
POTATO (Parents of traumatised adopted teens organisation) A membership organisation for adopters living in the UK. Supports families with adopted children up into early adulthood. Peer support, advice, expertise, signposting.
The Child Psychology Service Working nationally online, supporting parents of children and young people up to the age of 25, typically funded by ASF. Uses NVR and DDP.
Yvonne Newbold Facebook group offering advice and support to families of children with SEND
FASD Hub Scotland Telephone and email helplines for those parenting or caring for a child with FASD or Prenatal Alcohol Exposure.
SPECIALIST CHILD TO PARENT VIOLENCE PROGRAMME PROVIDERS
Respect offer the RYPP programme in a growing number of locations. You can find out more about the programme itself, and a list of agencies offering the RYPP on the Respect website.
Who’s in Charge? is a programme supporting parents of young people using harmful behaviour, or out of parental control. The four-month programme for parents follows a manual developed by Eddie Gallagher, and uses a combination of therapeutic and knowledge-based approaches including solution focused and narrative work and CBT; aiming to restore self-confidence and authority in the parent, a healthier parent-child relationship and helps to eliminate child to parent violence. There is more information about the programme, and a map of providers on the Who’s in Charge? website.
Families in Ireland can find a map of agencies offering Non Violent Resistance training on the NVR Ireland website.
During 2015 a small mapping research project identified 40 separate specialist services around Britain. You can read more about the project here and here, and you can access the map here. Since that time some services have folded through lack of funding, but many others have become established as the need has been recognised. The Map has been updated in 2021, but there will be many other services (we assume) which have still not been identified. If you know of a service which should be included you are welcome to contact me!
This information, and that on the list below, is by no means complete and will be added to as new information becomes available. While every effort is made to check out the services listed, please note that some agencies may have been forced to change their service offer since the map was compiled; and inclusion in this directory does not in any way imply endorsement of the service.
Other services include:
Parents of Children with Conduct Disorder. A closed Facebook group which offers support to families around the world, many of whom experience violence and abuse on a regular basis.
There are an increasing number of individual specialists and therapists offering support via websites or personal contact, as they build up a knowledge base and experience over time. Included among these are:
Sarah Fisher who uses an NVR approach.
Kelly Cox Parenting coaching, support and training.
Other local services include the following:
Getting On, a nine week course for families of children aged 11 to 15, run by Doncaster Children’s Services Trust, in partnership with the Youth Offending Service, and Stronger Families and Safer Communities initiatives. Information here.
Stop Domestic Abuse run an Adolescent to Parent Abuse (APA) Group.
This is a 6-session educational/therapeutic programme for parents/carers of a child/young person who is using abusive behaviours towards the parent/carer or using behaviours that the parent/carer is unable to manage.
The APA group is suitable for the parent/carer of children displaying challenging and potentially abusive behaviour. The criteria for a client to be referred is that the challenging child is between the ages of 8 and 16 years.
A peer support group for parents has recently been established in the Swale / Sheppey area of Kent. More details from the organiser, Becca Creavin via her closed Facebook page, Child to parent violence in Kent.
Adolescent to Parent Violence Programme: A bespoke programme for parent of children aged 10 – 18 within Kent and delivered online. Uses a mix of approaches including Who’s in Charge? and NVR. In addition, the post adoption team run Non-Violent Resistance groups for parents.
YUVA, the young people’s branch of domestic abuse organisation DVIP, offer a programme, across London, for young people who have witnessed/experienced domestic violence and are enacting aggressive/abusive behaviour towards family members; and are willing to address their behaviour. This work is funded by the Buttle Trust (2017). The funding is for young people up to the age of 18 only, but to refer young people aged 18 – 25 please email YUVA for advice. Parents who are able to self-fund (approximately £40 a session) can also access their own support across London in the form of group and one to one sessions, but this work is not funded through Buttle. While direct face to face work has ceased because of covid, YUVA continue to support families as follows:
- Our 1- 1 support services working directly with young people using violence and abuse towards their parents/carers will continue remotely. Sessions are taking place where appropriate over the phone or using WhatsApp Face Time
- Our parallel support service for parents/carers experiencing abuse from their son or daughter is also happening remotely via telephone or using Zoom.
- We will continue to take referrals and offer telephone consultations/guidance to professionals
- Telephone advice and support for parents is also continuing
- We also accept referrals from parents/carers.
- Our Parents Group has been paused but will resume once restrictions permit and social distancing measures will be applied.
email: DVIP.firstname.lastname@example.org or phone 0208 741 8020
These services have been identified as offering help to families in Wales. The information has been taken from the OxfordAPV site.
Area: North Wales (including: Wrexham, Flintshire, Denbighshire YOS, Save the Family, In2Change (substance misuse)
Provider: Protagoras Consultants
Programmes: Changing Places (Healthy Relationships and alternatives to violence)
Boundaries (Sexually Harmful Behaviour)
This programme is designed specifically for YP age 13-19) who are at risk of or are engaging in abuse or violence within their close relationships. The programme includes specific scenarios and application to CPV/APV examples. It also includes tandem workshops for parents in order to start to develop better communication and non abusive ways to manage conflict for the whole family.
A Break4Change programme has recently been established, delivered by the Domestic Abuse Safety Unit (DASU) for families across Flintshire, Wrexham, Denbighshire and Conwy. Anybody needing support can contact DASU via their website http://www.dasunorthwales.co.uk/contact or by ringing 01244 830436 (Flintshire), 01745 814494 (Denbigh),01492 534705 (Colwyn) or 01978 310203 (Wrexham).
Provider: Relate Cymru (part of the families first project in Conwy).
Programmes: Under development
Service: North Denbighshire Domestic Abuse Service
Programme: One to one work with children and young people who acknowledge they are abusive to their parents or others in a close relationship. The model used to support the young people is the Respect toolkit.
Service: Choose to Change (part of Relate Cymru)
Programme: The Changing Places programme
Service: Swansea Domestic Abuse Hub
The Domestic Abuse Hub is an early intervention and prevention service that provides support to children and their families who are experiencing issues in relation to domestic abuse. The purpose of the Domestic Abuse Hub is to ensure that children and their families feel safe and not afraid now and in the future; through being supported by the right people at the right time to get the help they want and need.
Program: Non Violent Resistance. NVR addresses violent, destructive and harmful behaviours in children &YP. This is offered on a one to one basis online or face to face with parents or carers over 8 – 12 weeks
Criteria: Suitable for the parent/carer of children displaying challenging and potentially abusive behaviour. The criteria for a client to be referred is that the challenging child is between the ages of 5 – 18 years old.
Contact: Rebecca Garnett or David Stallard, 01792 636512
Service: Media Academy Cardiff
Programme: The Parallel lives programme
Summary of model of work used: Parallel Lives is a person centred programme that works with young people who have committed adolescent to parent violence and their family members in order to reduce the risk of further violence.
Service: Gwent Domestic Abuse Services
Programme: Service offers support to young people that are beginning to show controlling behaviour in their intimate relationships. This incorporates their own intimate relationships as well adolescent to parent violence.
See also PheonixDAS website
Adapt Scotland offer trauma and attachment based mentoring and therapeutic work for foster and adoptive families, and for professionals.
Parenting Northern Ireland offer the NVR programme: Walking on Eggshells. Programmes run in Belfast, Derry City and Portadown. Call free PNI Regional Helpline 08088010722 to hear more.
Within Ireland, a number of agencies offer programmes for parents in using Non Violent Resistance. You can find out more about this via the NVR Ireland website.
LCT Services offer one to one and group counselling for parents experiencing child to parent violence and abuse.
SERVICES ELSEWHERE AROUND THE WORLD
AUSTRALIA: Information can be found on Eddie Gallagher’s website about Who’s in Charge? groups and other programmes.
Anglicare Victoria offer the Breaking the Cycle programme.
Berry Street in NorthEast Melbourne offer the TARA programme.
The State of Victoria has recently made more funding available to run services for families in three areas: Bayside Peninsula, Barwon and Mallee, through The Orange Door.
USA: The Step Up programme has been running very successfully now for many years, initially in Seattle, but now in other states. Information on the King Country website. In Florida, a number of separate groups of people have been involved in developing services. See The Morning After Centre, Breaking the Cycle Consulting.
CANADA: Envision Counselling and Support Centre has four centres in Southeast Saskatchewan. They have a page of information about Parent Abuse on their website, and may be able to offer direct support.
Adopt4Life are developing support for permanence families in the Ontario area experiencing harmful behaviour from their child.
MALTA: Agenzija Appogg offers support to families experiencing violence and abuse from their children.
SINGAPORE: PAVE is Singapore’s family violence specialist centre. They have experience in supporting families experiencing adolescent to parent violence.