We are only just coming to the end of January, but it has been interesting already to read a number of papers which have been published online this month. Two particularly attracted my attention: that from Harries, Curtis, Skvarc, Benstead, Walker and Mayshak, and also this one from Cortina and Holt – ‘This is what happens to people who don’t spank their kids’: An analysis of YouTube comments to news reports of child to parent violence.
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Welcome to 2024!
I wish all those reading this a peaceful and encouraging new year.
It is customary to hope for new and better things in the year ahead, but we know that for many families the passing of time seems to bring only a consolidation of their anxieties and pain. The holiday period can be especially stressful and so many people will be emerging bruised and battered – and not just emotionally. But there are reasons to be hopeful as we face the coming months and I would like to share some with you.
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Finding the right words: what I meant
We often think about the language we use in work with families where there is harmful behaviour from children, but more usually in terms of what we call it (see this sentence!) or the terms we use to describe the various family members involved. This week I have been reflecting on the difficulties that arise when the language we use as professionals is different to that used by parents. I have written about this before, and included a reference in my book to a blog by Raising Devon where the author talks about the difficulties in getting help while she referred to her child’s behaviour as “tantrums” rather than “rages”.
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Hear ME project published
Dhriti Suresh-Eapen and AVA are thrilled to publish the findings and recommendations from their Hear ME project today.
This one-year small scope project sought to centre the experiences of mothers experiencing violence and abuse from their adult children, and to start to fill a massive gap in understanding and policy recommendations. Over the course of many months, the research team heard from those on the frontline, both as parents and as practitioners, before formulating a series of proposals which are brought together in this report.
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Deprivation of Liberty stories
Summer is the time that I catch up on reading all the research papers and news articles that I have been storing on my laptop; and so I have finally found the space to pull some thoughts together. One thing that has particularly caught my eye over the last months has been the reporting on the rise in the number of vulnerable young people subject to Deprivation of Liberty (DoL) Orders.
Children and Young People Now has run a number of articles about this, examining the reasons for the sharp rise in orders (here), and analysing the growing gap in secure care provision (here), and in this piece from the beginning of August, looking at the impact on the young people themselves, often placed at great distance from their families and support systems, in unsuitable accommodation and in situations likely to increase their trauma and vulnerability rather than aid their recovery.
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Introducing a new CPVA Directory!
I started posting news about the project I was working on, with others, to map provision for families experiencing child to parent violence and abuse (CPVA) in 2014, with regular updates before finally launching the page on my website in October 2015. At that time we knew of maybe 30 specialist services dotted around the country, some already well established, and others already a little precarious in their funding stream. Since that time there has been an exciting slow but steady growth in provision as different agencies have got on board, speeding up most recently through the support of the Domestic Abuse Commissioner‘s work in raising the profile of CPVA.
Keeping the Directory up to date and relevant has been a mammoth task, and one which is now beyond my capabilities with the growth in services, and so I have been working with Respect for the last year to see how it might migrate onto a new platform. Respect have a long history of work with young people using violence and abuse in the home, and importantly they also already have a large database of services within the domestic abuse arena, and so I knew that this was an area of work that they had both the experience and capacity to maintain for the future. Over the last months, all members of the old directory were contacted and gave permission to move across and the new Directory was finally launched last week!
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CAPVA: A Hidden Problem
I wrote about the DAC Festival of Practice a month ago, and I was thrilled to receive this poem just now. Records were made of the various sessions in a range of ways, including graphically and through poetry from the spoken word poets who had been invited to participate. Many thanks to Rakaya Fetuga, who took these minutes of our presentation and the ensuing discussion.
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Resource Tool in development
A message from Silenced:
We would like to hear from people with a lived experience of child to parent violence and abuse to inform a resource tool that can be used by professionals supporting families experiencing #CPVA.
Filed under Announcements, Research
Hopeful News from Canada
I searched for families like mine – and if possible, hope. They were here all along
I heard this week some wonderfully encouraging news from a family in Canada who had been in touch some years ago looking for help and advice concerning the daughter’s use of violence in the home. At that time they had no hope that they would find someone who understood their experience, or would be able to offer the therapeutic help their family so desperately needed. Through their perseverance and determination, they have not only secured help for themselves, but also worked towards developing understanding and support for many other families experiencing child to parent violence across Canada. I would like to share the blog post they have written for the Mental Health Commission of Canada, and to bring hope, perhaps, to other families by doing so.
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#CPVA What about the Men?
We talk a lot about how child to parent violence and abuse disproportionately affects women – citing the ‘availability’ of mothers because of their particular caring responsibilities, and the societal messages that young people pick up. We talk about more boys than girls, and more young men than young women, using harmful behaviours – and indeed their behaviour being perceived as more harmful, or more likely to bring them to the attention of the police. These are real issues and ones which deserve our attention and our consideration.
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HOLES IN THE WALL 