Tag Archives: Child to parent violence

Filial violence across the life course

It was great to see a new international network, aiming to connect academic research on all forms of violence against parents, launched last week by Dr Kate Fitz-Gibbon in Australia. The International Network Addressing Filial Violence “will underpin ground-breaking, systematic and collaborative research into all forms of child to parent violence: childhood violence against parents, adolescent family violence, parricide at all ages, and elder abuse.” Members include Dr Kate Fitz-Gibbon, Associate Professor Rachel Condry, Professor JaneMaree Maher, Dr Caroline Miles, Professor Heather Douglas, Professor Kathleen Heide, Dr Eldra Solomon, Dr Wendy O’Brien, Associate Professor Esther Calvete and Dr Karla Elliott.

This remains a little researched subject, with new understanding constantly emerging, and so this collaborative direction of travel is very exciting.

You will find more information about each member, and about their publications, on the Monash University website.

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Reports from the 2018 CPVA Survey

You may have been following the discussion opened up by Dr Wendy Thorley and Al Coates, following their survey of adoptive and foster families at the end of 2016 (here,  here, here and here), and then the enlarged questionnaire to all families experiencing violence and aggression from their children of 2018. If so, you will already be aware of the way in which the responses brought to the fore a number of difficulties with the way in which CPVA is understood and conceptualised; particularly around intent, and children who have either a recognised mental health diagnosis, learning difficulty, or have experienced trauma in early childhood. Two documents are now available, comprising a full and detailed analysis of the recent survey responses, and an extended summary of the main discussion points and recommendations. The first is available through Amazon, the second as a free download from Academia. Continue reading

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Who’s in Charge? A much awaited book from Eddie Gallagher

 

Many of us have been waiting a long time for this book to appear. Whether you prefer to think about it as a bible or a brain is up to you, but the 500+ pages represent the outpouring of Eddie Gallagher’s understanding and thinking over nearly 25 years in the field of children’s violence and abuse towards parents, drawing on both available literature and his own significant practice experience, working with families individually and in developing the Who’s in Charge? model of work with parents. Continue reading

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An evening with Eddie Gallagher

Eddie will be visiting London on 20th September and there is an opportunity to meet with him to talk about child to parent violence and the Who’s in Charge? programme, which he developed many years ago in Australia. Eddie will also have copies of his book, Who’s In Charge? Why children abuse parents and what you can do about it, which is to be published at the end of this month.

The evening is designed for Trained WIC? facilitators, commissioners, managers, and practitioners wanting to know more about CPV and the WIC? programme.

Booking is essential for this event. Please see the Events and Training page of this website for more information.

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Child to parent violence: An uninvited guest

An email to the RTE Radio 1 show, read out by Ryan Tubridy on 30th April, expressed a mother’s despair and sense of helplessness over her 9-year-old son’s behaviour towards her: “I wonder if it’s possible to admit that you can’t help your child … It’s extremely difficult to talk to people about it…  You feel like you have failed your child… like it’s your fault, you’ve done something to create this.” Despite assessments, medication, therapy, courses, and other support, the violence towards her continues and she feels as if there is nothing left she can do. Reading the transcript from the show, it is easy to share the sense of helplessness. Where do you turn when all the traditional methods have led nowhere?

The email prompted a call to the show from Madeleine Connelly, senior social worker and family therapist. She highlighted the importance of parents feeling able to say they have come to the end of the road – without then being subject to shaming and judgemental responses. Talking about the abuse; ‘pressing the pause button’ – choosing to respond to a crisis at a later moment; and finding a support network, were then described by her as powerful steps to take as reported by the parents themselves. Finally, she stressed the importance of separating the behaviour from the child, with an expression much used in the practice of Non-Violent Resistance – the child is not the problem – the problem is the problem. “What we do is encourage parents to see the behaviour as an uninvited guest or an infection, that it’s not the child, it’s a behaviour, to separate it out.  The problem is the problem, it’s not the child, and that helps parents to look at different ways of seeing the problem and then working together with the child.”

Working together with the child to overcome the issues – since we should not assume the child is happy with the situation – and offering hope in an apparently hopeless situation, two strong messages to take away!

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Transforming the Response to Domestic Abuse: HM Government Consultation

The UK Government is consulting on proposed changes to the law on domestic abuse. The consultation runs from March 8th to May 31st, 2018, and you can access the consultation documents, published by the Home Office here. As well as the full version, a shorter document can also be viewed. Continue reading

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Child to parent violence: Is it increasing?

Campaigning in this field, one of the most frequent questions I am asked is, “Is it increasing?” whether from journalists, interested members of the public, friends, professionals or families themselves. I admit to finding this a struggle to answer. Without a proper baseline, how can we ever tell? Are you asking for solid evidence or an anecdotal and impressionistic response? The logical, social scientist bit of me screams in pain as I offer the answer “possibly, probably”. Continue reading

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