Child to parent violence, a background hum

Is it me, or have things quietened down a bit at the moment? Granted, I’m not on top of everything across the world, but in terms of big news making events we seem to be having a down period. How do we keep the momentum going in such a situation?

Personally I very much value the opportunity to talk through ideas, listen to those on the front line, apply learning and support each other. It’s also how we test theory, develop new work and highlight areas of need. Without comradeship and support, practitioners as well as parents can feel discouraged and isolated. And there is some quite discouraging news about as budget cuts within the Youth Offending Service in England and Wales take effect and CPV programmes are axed or subsumed into general work. But against this background there are other moves which are worth celebrating. Continue reading

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Royal Commission on Family Violence, 2016

Of course I knew it was a very serious and extensive problem, but I don’t think I realised the dimensions and the scale of it“, the words of Justice Marcia Neave, who was the head of Australia’s first royal commission into family violence, which reported at the end of March, after a mammoth 13 months, during which the commission heard evidence from more than 200 stakeholders to come up with a final list of 227 recommendations. The commission was set up by the government of Victoria specifically, but the Victorian premier, Daniel Andrews, promised to accept every recommendation, and it is hoped that the federal government will also act in areas over which they have jurisdiction, such as the Family Law Act. Continue reading

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Happy Birthday, Holes in the Wall!

Please allow me a moment of self-indulgence as I celebrate 5 years of this website, Holes in the Wall, ‘born’ in May 2011 out of a desire to make a contribution to the understanding of children’s violence to parents, known sometimes as parent abuse. As a present to myself I have ordered shiny new postcards to leave with people at conferences and events, explaining how ‘Holes’ came about and how you can be part of the community!

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Parents’ experiences of being abused by their adolescent children: Doctoral thesis from Kerry Clarke

I’m delighted to be able to give the link to the Doctoral Thesis, on adolescent to parent violence and abuse, submitted by Kerry Clarke last year at the University of Hertfordshire, which is now publicly available. The thesis can be accessed here. Kerry is writing from within the Clinical Psychology discipline, and there are some important points made about the dearth of discussion within this field of work, particularly given that such professionals are often ideally placed and trained to support families. Continue reading

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Assuring the quality of training opportunities

A few years ago the sorts of training opportunities available for practitioners and parents / carers (in the UK) around child to parent violence were confined to Local Authority organised days, a small number of agencies with developed expertise, and projects such as the Daphne RCPV work. Whether you could access anything easily was very dependent on where you were in the country – both in terms of accessibility and in having the costs covered. Models of work are varied and it was sometimes difficult to find training which reflected your own approach. In the last year there has definitely been an upsurge in training opportunities advertised – which is good news for those who want to know more, but it brings its own issues. Can you be sure the provider is qualified to deliver the training? Will you be properly equipped at the end to practise the skills – whether in your home or at work? Are the techniques and models promoted safe? Will the training be recognised by funders? Continue reading

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The Mapping Project: Final Reports

The research project to map specialist services for families experiencing violence and abuse from their children (Mapping Child to Parent Violence and Abuse Support Services in England and Wales, 2015) came to an end in December 2015. The funding was for a six month period only and we are pleased with the progress we made, though disappointed not to be able to do more. We will continue to add services as they are developed and we come across them.

I have blogged about this a number of times in the last year, most notably here and here.

The Final Report is now complete and can be viewed here. There is a shorter Executive Summary, which is available here.

Any comments will be gratefully received, as will contact details of additional services. Thank you!

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Be curious

Watching the most recent series from Channel 5 about child to parent violence recently, Violent Child, Desperate Parents, I’ve been struck by the principle underlying the therapist, Mandy Saligari’s work: Be Curious.

Read or listen to the discussions around the programme, or follow particular communities on twitter, and you’ll be familiar with the common assumptions about what’s behind the abuse. Parents too soft, giving them everything they want, they just need boundaries, parents have given up, the parents don’t give a damn. Of course, they do give a damn which is why they are taking the almighty step of exposing their lives to general opprobrium via this popular medium, but that seems to be overlooked. Continue reading

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Government launches the new VAWG strategy

Last week, on International Women’s Day, the Government published their revised VAWG strategy, Ending Violence against Women and Girls, to run from 2016 to 2020. Much trumpeted by the government, the strategy was also met with approval by crucial organisations such as Women’s Aid and Safe Lives.

With the input of £80 million, a focus on early intervention and prevention services, improvements in commissioning services with a National Statement of Expectations, and addressing the behaviour of perpetrators, it seems a little churlish to be writing anything negative. Nevertheless, we must remember that this comes against a background of savage cuts to services over the course of this government, which has seen closures in refuges across the country, with the loss of support for women which must be made good before any real gains can be claimed. Sarah Champion, Labour MP for Rotherham and shadow minister for preventing abuse and domestic violence writes in the Huffington Post that warm words are simply not enough. Continue reading

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NVR in Context

The publishers of Context, the magazine for members of the Association for Family Therapy, have graciously allowed me to pass on the link to the April 2014 issue of their magazine, which focuses on child to parent violence and NVR in particular as an appropriate model of work with families across many profiles.

Following the editorial from Alex Millham, you will find papers by a wide range of authors and practitioners. Continue reading

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Alice Flowers advocates for parent abuse bill in Florida.

Family Of Woman Who Lost Her Life Plead With Lawmakers To Hear Parent Abuse Bill

 

Some Florida lawmakers and advocates are pushing for a bill classifying the abuse of a parent as a form of domestic abuse. The measure stems from a woman who lost her life years ago.

Flowers is recalling the painful memory of the events that led to her sister, Rosemary Pate’s death. Pate’s son Everett was sentenced to 30 years in prison for the murder.

“She had suffered years of abuse from him,” she added. “Although he had been detained in the Department of Juvenile Justice, many times he was returned home to her where the abuse continued, although law enforcement were aware of the threats.”

And, Flowers says losing her sister like this has been tough on the whole family.

“My father has been through a lot,” she continued. “He got a call. Early one morning, my youngest sister and her husband went to his house to let him know that his grandchild had murdered his child. We have been through the ringer with this.”

Flowers just finished a bicycle ride from Orlando to Tallahassee in memory of her sister. Now, she’s advocating on behalf of a bill that she says would have helped.

“Myself and four cyclists have cycled to show how serious we are about getting a bill for police protections for parents and a bill that would begin intervening early for troubled children,” she concluded.

That bill Flowers is pushing for is sponsored by Sen. Geraldine Thompson (D-Orlando).

“We know that in Orange County we have a problem because we’ve studied it,” she said. “And, 426 children were arrested in 2012 for domestic violence, physically assaulting family members in their own homes. And, according to an article, elderly people are likely to be hurt by their children or other caretakers more than any other individual.”

And, Thompson says she’s saddened that even with a restraining order stating that Pate’s son had threatened her and she’d been afraid of him for years, the 51-year-old’s petition went nowhere.

“He had indicated that he would kill her two years earlier when he was 16,” Thompson added. “She said her petition to the judge had not really been acted upon because right now, in the law, regarding domestic abuse, the abuse of a parent is not included and so, this bill would correct that. And, it would include abuse of a parent as one of the forms of domestic abuse.”

The abuse may include aggravated abuse, exploitation of a parent’s assets, or emotional abuse of a parent by a biological child. The bill also requires the abuse of a parent be reported to the state abuse hotline.

And, Rep. Victor Torres (D-Orlando), the bill’s House sponsor, says the measure is needed.

“We need to make sure our parents are protected against abusive children,” he said. “The abuse tends to begin with verbal abuse, gradually progresses to property damage, breaking the walls, breaking down doors…ultimately, it becomes physical and that’s when you have the problems, that’s when you start seeing the aggression against the parents.”

So far, neither the Senate nor the House bill have had a hearing. But, both sponsors say they remain hopeful that if it dies this year, it will still be heard next session.

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