Parent abuse in the Independent

An article about parent abuse in the Independent this weekend managed to reference and quote Family Lives, Lynette Robinson, Rachel Condry and Hertfordshire Practical Parenting Programme, all in under 500 words. Well done, Sarah Cassidy!

The Big Lottery grant to Hertfordshire Practical Parenting Project has brought the subject of parent abuse once more to the attention of the media. An informative piece is illustrated with a case study from an interview with one of the Hertfordshire parents

Sadly, the ‘comments’ go some way to explaining why this aspect of family violence remains so under-reported. Breaking through this barrage of ignorance, prejudice and downright vitriol, seems as far away as ever.

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Parent abuse project wins Big Lottery funding

Congratulations to Hertfordshire Practical Parenting Programme, awarded £186,500 from the Big Lottery Fund, for their “I-Trust-U-Trust-Me” project which aims to reduce violence by children and young people against their parents.

The announcement was picked up by the Bourne Local news:

Director, Sandra Ashley, said: “Our new project is about breaking cycles of child-on-parent domestic violence. This behaviour can often be learned after witnessing partner-to-partner violence, which continues following one parent leaving and the child taking on the role of aggressor. We work to ensure that parents understand the importance of staying safe and dealing with this emotive issue. There are a lot of agencies set up to deal with adult-on-adult domestic violence, but not child to parent.” Sara Betsworth, Big Lottery Fund’s head of the East of England region, said, “Domestic violence between adults damages families but it is not well known that child-on-parent abuse can also follow from that. Hertfordshire Practical Parenting Programme is an extremely interesting and valuable new project to tackle this under-reported domestic violence and break this cycle of abuse.

The project also won a mention in the Society section of the national Guardian.

My plan to create a resources page here, listing projects such as this, still remains a plan  . . . but will hopefully come to fruition soon!

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Television producers in search of parents

I have been contacted by a representative from a television production company, interested in making a documentary about young children’s violent behaviour – including towards their parents. They would like to speak to parents, from within the UK, with this experience, or those working in the field. At the moment there is no actual scheduled programme and the direction the research goes will determine to which channel it is pitched.

Special Edition Films
are a production company that make documentaries for all the major
broadcasters. Currently we are researching a documentary on parenting in
the UK and are looking to speak with people (off the record) about their
experiences with toddler violence for the BBC. Perhaps a child is
difficult at home and violent at school, or the other way around, or have
become violent since a younger sibling has come into the picture  – we
welcome any and all stories.

We are not looking to film or record anyone at the moment — we just want
to get an idea of what people are experiencing, how and where they find
support, and what the outcome was, so that we can create a film that
properly represents this issue.

I have offered to pass on contact details if anyone would like to take up this offer to raise awareness of the issues around young children’s violent behaviour. Any agreement entered into would then be between you and the television company.

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Should you call the cops on your kids?

Anderson Cooper used his CNN TV show on January 25th to discuss this question, with mothers experiencing abuse from their children who had done just that. Dr. Karen Binder-Brynes (described as a leading psychologist) offered her opinion, a police officer gave his side of the story, and of course the studio audience had their own questions and comments. The clips give a sense of the utter desperation of some parents, one of whom then found herself charged with child abuse as her daughter counter claimed against her. Anderson attempts to draw out the different emotions at play in these situations; and one of the parents breaks down as she details her frustration at the lack of response over considerable time when she called for help from social services. Continue reading

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Teenage Violence to Parents Training

There are still places left for those wishing to attend the Alternative Restoratives awareness raising day, on Understanding and Working with Teenage Violence to Parents, on March 1st. The closing date for applications for the Wakefield event has been extended to February 10th. Full details of the event, and an application form can be found here.

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In Cold Blood: Parent abuse in Singapore

This powerful video from Singapore was posted in the week. Some viewers have already told me how distressing they found it.

Addresses are given at the end for those wishing to access advice and support.

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I don’t believe it!

We should feel encouraged that, increasingly, friends, colleagues, acquaintances are accepting of the fact that there are parents who face regular abuse from their own children; and understand that parents may suffer further humiliation at the hands of the authorities when they do report the abuse, and its cause is identified as a failure of proper parenting. But there are still some aspects of this phenomenon that seem a step too far, even for convinced supporters. I was in just such a conversation recently when I introduced the problem of parents actually being punished for their children’s behaviour. “I don’t believe it – show me the evidence” was the response. It is indeed hard to believe that we still live in a society that is so procedurally rigid that we cannot accommodate the situations that do not fit the standard template.

I would suggest that there are a number of different scenarios here. Continue reading

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The Respect Young People’s Toolkit

I met recently with Julia Worms, of the Respect Young People’s Service, to learn more about the Respect Young People’s Toolkit, which was officially launched in Britain last year, supporting work with young people using violence in close relationships.

Aside from work within criminal justice, Respect is unique in developing family violence interventions, setting standards for provision and operating as an umbrella membership organisation, as well as offering training and development.  Its independence is important, allowing freedom to operate within the voluntary sector and to develop work such as the YP Toolkit. Continue reading

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Parent Abuse Research Review

Another literature review came out in December 2011. The Social Ecology of Adolescent-Initiated Parent Abuse: A Review of the Literature, by Jun Sung HongMichael J. KralDorothy L. Espelage and Paula Allen-Meares, is available on line. The abstract indicates that it focusses on context and risk factors, and suggests further avenues for research.

I plan in the near future to create a separate page here for links to articles as I become aware of them, and also a page dedicated to resources. Watch out for these exciting developments!

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A rock and a hard place

Writing a piece for PSW magazine over the holiday, and then watching the Archbishop of Canterbury’s new year’s day speech, has reminded me of the difficulties inherent in raising awareness of a serious issue – such as parent abuse – while avoiding demonising the various players. Much is made within the literature on child to parent violence, of taking care not to apportion blame, thereby increasing the shame parents already feel and making them less likely to seek help. Fundamental to the Respect agenda of the mid Labour years from 2006 was the notion of parental responsibility, and of holding parents to account for the behaviour of their children, credited with damaging further the precarious balance of power within some families. Continue reading

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