Tag Archives: Parent abuse

Adolescent to parent abuse: the facts

I was interested to be sent this fact sheet recently, by Heather Nancarrow, Director of the Queensland Centre for Domestic and Family Violence Research, CQ University. The leaflet was produced to support parents who might be experiencing abuse from their children, with clear outlines of what counts as abusive behaviour, recognising how parents may be feelings and reminding them of their right to live free of abuse and violence. It is distributed (among other places) to police stations, one of the key places parents may first seek help. The addresses and contact details are of course only relevant to Australia, but the information given is useful to all; and the layout and presentation very attention grabbing.

It was one such leaflet that prompted this article in the Gladstone Observer, on May 31st.

The reporter took the opportunity to interview a police officer and a youth worker involved in supporting parents, as well as Nancarrow. Parents are urged to start disciplining their children early, recognise the signs of parent abuse, and to come forward for help if necessary. The article is a little confused in its structure, but its good to see the issue of child to parent violence receiving attention and recognition in the media again.

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Non-Violent Resistance: the story so far

Of the different techniques and programmes in place to work with parents experiencing abuse from their children, the one we seem to hear least about (at least in the UK) is Non-Violent Resistance. As part of the EU-funded research into effective methods of work with families, Paula Wilcox of the University of Brighton has been examining evidence for this programme. Non-Violent Resistance was first developed in Israel and later adapted by a team led by Declan Coogan in Ireland. In this piece, written specifically for Holes in the Wall, Declan Coogan gives a brief introduction to its methods, use and effectiveness. Continue reading

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Speaking to the media

This is a bit of a different post to usual. I’ve alluded to the interest of the media in parent abuse in recent weeks, but as this has come up over and over again recently I thought it worth a mention in its own right. In a nutshell, the question seems to be, how do we reconcile our desire to raise awareness of parent abuse and the need for greater service provision, with our duty to protect the families we work with from further harm?

Over the years that I’ve been tracking this, child to parent violence, or parent abuse, has been covered in what we’ll call a “positive” way in various media: in the local and national press, in professional publications as well as academic journals, in a popular weekly magazine, on radio news and magazine programmes, in TV drama and documentary, in film and on YouTube; and those are just the ones I’ve caught. It’s also attracted attention in more dramatic and contraversial ways through programmes such as Dr Phil, where families are “paraded” in front of audiences who have chosen to be present for motives which, it’s probably fair to say, don’t include the hope of witnessing a complex, sensitive process of restoring healthy family relationships. Then there’s the other side of the story in the context of the long-term failure of mainstream agencies to respond to families experiencing abuse from their children. How will the professionals come out of this? Do we really want to put ourselves through further grief at a time when the drive is rather to find positive stories of social work involvement to bring balance to the argument? Continue reading

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Training session for parents

I’m very excited to post this flyer about a training day specially designed for parents and carers experiencing abuse from their children.

This morning session on June 29th, offered at no cost to participants, follows on from 3 days of training for practitioners working with abused parents, organised by Ipswich borough council, and will be led by Eddie Gallagher. (Booking details on the flyer.)

It’s not often that parents and carers are offered this chance and so I hope that it will reach as wide an audience as possible.

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A successful year for Hertfordshire Practical Parenting Programme

A year ago I spotted a piece in the Hertfordshire local press about a big lottery grant awarded to a new project working with families experiencing child to parent violence.  Last week Hertfordshire Practical Parenting Programme celebrated a successful year, and invited me to join them for a reception.

HPPPphoto

Sandra Ashley, Director (second left), Carole Hassell (right), Geoff Ogden from the Management Team and Carol Lewis (left ), pictured above, were joined by local councilors, Chris Mitchell, Paul Seeby, John Barfoot ,  the Broxbourne MP Charles Walker. Dunston Patterson from the Youth Justice Board, and representatives from the local Parks Department and police were also present. Continue reading

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BBC draws attention to parent abuse.

Great to hear a six minute piece about parent abuse on the BBC Radio 4 flagship Today programme this morning. (8.22am – 8.28am) Also available from the BBC website here.

Joe Lettieri, from PAARS, was interviewed, and there were 2 clips from interviews with parents. One was a single parent who had experienced escalating abuse from her son (now aged 12) for the last 10 years, and the other a “middle class” mother whose daughter had become physically violent to her only recently, but who had been abusive in other ways prior to this. Both commented that it was the verbal abuse that they found the hardest to take, despite accounts of really quite severe physical injuries. Attention was drawn also to the shame and stigma experienced by parents: “I feel like I’m a rubbish Mum”. Continue reading

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Changing the DV definition: the debate continues

My attention was drawn this week to the recently released Home Office Guidance, Information for Local Areas on the change to the definition of Domestic Violence and Abuse. Produced in partnership with AVA, the guidance contains a whole section on Child to Parent Violence and calls specifically for the support of local groups working with families experiencing parent abuse, and the training of domestic violence workers in their work with this form of family violence.

At the same time, I received some comments from Anne-Marie Harris, Senior Development Adviser for Effective Practice with the Youth Justice Board for England and Wales, addressing the extension of the definition and drawing attention again to the need to exercise caution in the way these developments are carried forward. These are reproduced here and are particularly pertinent in the light of the guidance issued. Continue reading

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Dangerous Child

Part of the Infinity True Stories series, Certificate 15, 2001 Hearst Entertainment Ltd

Starring Delta Burke as Sally Cambridge, and Ryan Merriman as her 16-year-old son, Jack.

“She always protected her son. Now she must protect herself … from him”

I bought this DVD a while ago, but only recently got around to viewing it. More fool me!

Sally has been caring for her two sons by herself after their father left her. There are no surprises how this works out as the film opens with the younger child being rushed to hospital in a critical state. What we are then treated to is a clever and accurate portrayal of life with an abusive son, as we see Jack’s mother battling to come to terms with the fact that her troubled teenage boy is not the beautiful baby she remembers him to have been. Continue reading

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Resolving child to parent violence requires an assertive, intensive and persistent approach.

When we think about work with child to parent violence, the agencies which typically come to mind, and indeed the ones that have attracted the most debate in terms of service provision, would be the police, domestic violence bodies, children’s services, youth offending, health or perhaps schools. While the work of academics such as Judy Nixon, examining the impact of intensive family support, drew attention to parent abuse as part of the bigger picture of disruptive and dysfunctional family life, there has not been the focus on housing support that might have been warranted. So it was very interesting to make contact with the Family Support Project workers from Wolverhampton Homes Housing Inclusion Team, as a result of the recent conference in Nottingham, and to explore with them the work that they do in this field. Continue reading

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“An alignment of the planets”

Returning to the topic of themes that emerged from the recent conference on domestic violence by children against parents, in Nottingham, I’d like to look at 2 more ideas that caught my attention.

Launching the conference, Jo Sharpen, from AVA,  described it as very timely, and indeed, throughout the day, speakers referred to a series of events that support our focus on the issue of child to parent violence at this time. The changed definition of domestic violence in England and Wales (with the publication of the Home Office Guidance to which AVA contributed), was highlighted and declared helpful in recognising that under 18s could be abusive, though bringing parent abuse within the domestic violence umbrella was also considered problematic, because of the important differences between CPV and IPV and the potential criminalisation of young people (see my earlier post for more details). March also saw the publication of the UK Government Action Plan: A call to end violence against women and girls, and the launch of the EVAWGUK policy. Though parent abuse is sadly still not specifically mentioned, it does offer opportunities to discuss the issue more widely. Continue reading

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