The issue of intent, and what exactly is meant by this in understanding child or adolescent to parent violence and abuse, is a complicated one that has generated significant discussion over the last year particularly. It has been suggested (Thorley and Coates) that we are better served by an overarching understanding of young people’s family violence, with a division between those who act aggressively with intent, and those we would struggle to understand doing so. Others disagree, and this has sparked thoughts that perhaps we are misusing the word, and that we should go back to basics in our understanding of how we use this terminology in the wider field of domestic abuse.
I was musing along this line with Kate Iwi, and persuaded her to write something for us!
In the adult domestic violence (DV) field it’s often noted that even in the heat of the moment when a perpetrator says he ‘lost it’ and ‘saw red’ he is still accountable for his behaviour. In part this is because they clearly still retained some control, in the sense that they are setting limits to the level of abuse they are prepared to use. After all, if you are stronger than the other person and/or there are potential weapons around, and you’ve not killed them yet, then you must be setting limits. It’s also noted that victims of DV learn to tread on eggshells – they avoid doing the things that seem to trigger the violence. The aggressor gets their way. Its often concluded that for adult perpetrators, ‘violence is intentional’. Continue reading
Marking International Restorative Justice Week in November, this YouTube video was posted by IARS. In it, Kate Iwi, of Respect UK, talks about an innovative restorative technique being pioneered as part of the Respect Young People’s Programme. Restorative work is a fundamental aspect of work with families experiencing children’s violence to parents.
The recent Respect National Practitioners Seminar, held in London, featured a keynote speech from Professor David Gadd, of the Centre for Criminology and Criminal Justice at Manchester University. David reported on the findings of the three-year ESRC From Boys to Men project, in his speech: The Making and Unmaking of Domestic Abuse Perpetrators.
Essentially, the research has been examining why some young men go on to become domestic abuse perpetrators and others not; and then what can be done about it. Work such as this is incredibly important in a field such as parent abuse, where a significant amount is known about correlation, but less about causation. Continue reading
Parentchannel.tv presents a series of videos discussing parenting issues. You can search by age or by topic and they include tips and advice on a whole raft of topics dealing with normal behaviour and expectations, through all the possible questions you can think of, and also importantly – from our point of view – aggression in the home. This five minute video, produced by Family Lives, is presented by Kate Iwi, of Respect, and looks “into the factors that can cause a teen to become threatening in the home and the signs that things are going too far, with tips on how to take control of the situation” Continue reading
Nottinghamshire Domestic Violence Forum are running a repeat of their June training day on October 5th 2012.
Addressing Young People’s Abuse of Their Parents, 9.45am – 4.30pm
Fee: £85 per delegate, inclusive of lunch and refreshments
Nottingham Voluntary Action Centre: Ash Room
Trainers: Kate Iwi and Dr Chris Newman
This course will explore the issue of young people’s abuse of parents. The
day will cover the impact of domestic violence on young people, prevalence
and dynamics of parent abuse, building strengths in the parent/ child
relationship,. The afternoon will focus on practical skills for working
with parents experiencing abuse from their children, exploring family
systems work and identifying simple techniques to utilise with young people
to help stop their abuse.
The trainers are both experienced practitioners and trainers; having worked
extensively with perpetrators.
The booking form is available here.