Author Archives: helenbonnick

A problem the size of Wales

Two eagerly awaited (by me) reports were published last week, coincidentally, both examining the issue of children’s violence to parents as experienced in Wales.

Beyond the Adoption Order (Wales): Discord and disruption in adoptive families, by Professor Julie Selwyn and Dr Sarah Meakings at the University of Bristol, is an important follow up to the report on adoption disruption in England last year. Very similar findings to the England report were found. All cases of disruption included APV,  typically emerging around the age of 13 years. Experiences of support from agencies, family and friends are examined throughout the process. Extensive recommendations are included at the end. Since the time of the report, Wales has established a National Adoption Service. Continue reading

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Research round-up

I’m really pleased to let you know that the reports for the Daphne RCPV project are finally completed, and these, along with related resources are now available on their website. These include conference presentations, CPV evaluation framework and tools, self-efficacy questionnaires, toolkits including those for Break4Change and NVR, and the RCPV films: “Defining CPV” and “Project Findings”. The website will be updated twice a year, so do check it out from time to time for new material. Some of these reports are also available in Spanish, Swedish and Bulgarian. Continue reading

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And the winner is … Everybody Hurts!

Congratulations to Sarah Swift and Everybody Hurts, winners in the Foundation Derbyshire Awards 2015!

Sarah had applied to Foundation Derbyshire for funding to cover costs of books and travel for those attending the support group Everybody Hurts. In a rural area there can be long distances to travel and it can be really difficult to get to events, especially when there might be trouble brewing at home, so every incentive to make it possible is important. The top 12 groups to win funding (as chosen by the Foundation) were then entered into a further round of competition, from which the top 6 received an additional £150 as announced at an event celebrating the good practice of all concerned. Sarah plans to put the unexpected windfall towards advertising costs. Continue reading

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The Adoption Social: Listening to and supporting each other

One of the particular groups of people I follow on twitter has been the adoption community. Early on in my exploration of children’s violence to parents, and more especially after publication of the report Beyond the Adoption Order, I become aware that families living with children they had adopted were facing sometimes extreme levels of violence and that it often felt different to other forms of CPV. Often times it involved children as young as three or four, and could clearly be linked back to experiences of trauma: neglect, violence, abandonment, multiple placements, and the cutting of familial ties. These were children demonstrating anger, grief, frustration and most of all fear, and – as with all CPV – there was very little being offered in the way of support. A few tentative steps are now being taken in developing therapies and support packages for families, but one of the key things that has enabled people to keep caring, to keep going at all, has been the friendships, advice and care forged online. Continue reading

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Adolescent to parent abuse as a form of DV?

Two recent things of interest from Amanda Holt:

A journal article looking at similarities and differences between adolescent to parent and intimate partner violence; and a seminar addressing this issue at Oxford Brookes University last month. You can hear Amanda and see the slides from this presentation here.

 

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“Cases of children abusing their parents has soared by 60% in two years”

People have been much exercised over recent weeks by an apparent huge rise in the number of younger and younger children being involved in serious crime; and bundled in with this is the issue of these children’s violence and abuse towards their parents. Both the Daily Mail and Telegraph published items around this theme, and I saw the same story covered by the website Dad info.

What are we to make of this?

First, we must be cautious about the meaning we ascribe to crime statistics, as to any data. Crime figures have always been affected by reporting behaviour (of both victims and police), societal attitudes (some would like to attribute it to parents giving up their parenting responsibilities to the state), by targeted programmes, categorisation, and also – certainly in the past – by the practice of “manipulation”. The figures, too, come on the back of reported “very large reductions in serious youth violence” in the previous year, reported also by the Youth Justice Board, in January of this year; though there may be some localised variations in this. Scepticism is important, but we need to also acknowledge real changes society, such as an increase in the use of children by gang members seeking to evade the law themselves, or to the impact of different exclusion policies adopted as the picture of school governance changes across the country, which may act to drive up figures of real crime. Continue reading

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Thinking about Education

Something a bit different for a change today inspired by a compilation of essays on education, The Connected School from ncb.

If you are put off by a blog about schools, by all means look away now; but having been involved in direct work with families in schools for over 17 years, this is something that I feel strongly about; and of course children spend a huge proportion of their lives within the school gates. We need to get this right if we are to foster healthy, happy learners. For those anxious for a link with child to parent violence here, I would draw attention to the way that many children have been found to bottle up their stress at school, taking it out on parents once they reach the “safe” confines of home. Continue reading

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Non Violent Resistance

Non-Violent Resistance, as a response to child to parent violence, has attracted considerable attention and support among the adoption community, so I was pleased to come across this blog from Frogotter, outlining their experience of attending an NVR course with Peter Jakob.

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We were pretty excited about attending a course on Non Violent Resistance. It was run by Adoption UK and had Peter Jakob speaking. Violence has become our biggest concern with the boys. Not really because they’re getting worse, if anything they are getting better at handling their impulses. But, as they get larger and stronger, any violence at all starts to be a bit worrying. So, a day course about dealing with aggression without getting aggressive sounded perfect.
I’d already read a book about it, but I was concerned that it seemed aimed at parents of older children, and wasn’t entire applicable to us, yet.
On the other hand, some of the ideas sounded different to things I’ve read in other books, and that was rather exciting!
So, we turned up hopeful, but not expecting much.
The first thing I always look for from an expert is what they…

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Western Australia examines the problem of children’s violence in the home

A report from Women’s Health and Family Services received attention in the Australian media this month. The Making of Good Men and Women (Responding to Youth Violence in the Home and its harmful impacts on families and communities in Western Australia) examines the problem of violence from children towards adults and other family members, and contains data from both Western Australia, where the report is based, and comparative figures from the state of Victoria, where services have been established for a number of years. Continue reading

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The value of student research in child to parent violence

One of the things that gives me hope for the growing awareness within mainstream services of the existence and issues around children’s violence to parents, is the growing numbers of students undertaking research as part of their training. Whether it is at first degree level, Masters, PhD or as a Professional Doctorate – across social work youth services, counselling, the police and even journalism – I am now aware of many pieces of research that are either in proposal stage, in progress, or recently completed in Britain alone. While the body of literature is now significantly growing, some of the most interesting pieces in the past have come via this route (in my opinion) and of course then have an immediate relevance and input to the work on the ground. I hope to offer links to completed work where possible, but here’s a taster in the meantime! Continue reading

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