Tag Archives: The Adoption Social

Non-Violent Resistance, a review of one day training

This post was written for The Adoption Social website by Sarah last week, and I have reposted it here with permission. I know that there are many ‘views’ of this site in respect of NVR, and so I hope it will be useful. Similarly, if you have an interest in adoption matters, The Adoption Social is an important and valuable resource.

Sarah from The Puffin Diaries shares her thoughts on a Non-Violent Resistance course she attended.

Recently my husband and I attended a course based on the practice of NVR, Non-Violent Resistance. This course was hosted by PAC and delivered by Rachael Alymer of Partnership Projects.

The first thing that struck myself, my husband and indeed many others, was that we were a room, full with over thirty people and everyone of us had experienced violence from their child. This in its self had a huge impact on many of us; there was an instant feeling of not being alone. Continue reading

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When holidays turn violent

While there are many, many different routes to violence and abuse, we know that for some children and young people, a change in routine can be a real trigger and parents and families must learn to manage this as best they can. Uncertainty, anxiety, sensory overload, loss of control or a fear of abandonment can all bring on violent and destructive behaviour directed towards adults, siblings or property as a child expresses their emotions or seeks to regain some sense of control. Some children will manage a particular event but “collapse” later on. For others, the change itself is sufficient to bring on attempts to escape the pressure. Families with children with ASD diagnoses, FASD, or adoptive parents, amongst others, will be all too familiar with this. It is important that professionals are equally aware and supportive of families in finding solutions. Continue reading

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The Adoption Social: Listening to and supporting each other

One of the particular groups of people I follow on twitter has been the adoption community. Early on in my exploration of children’s violence to parents, and more especially after publication of the report Beyond the Adoption Order, I become aware that families living with children they had adopted were facing sometimes extreme levels of violence and that it often felt different to other forms of CPV. Often times it involved children as young as three or four, and could clearly be linked back to experiences of trauma: neglect, violence, abandonment, multiple placements, and the cutting of familial ties. These were children demonstrating anger, grief, frustration and most of all fear, and – as with all CPV – there was very little being offered in the way of support. A few tentative steps are now being taken in developing therapies and support packages for families, but one of the key things that has enabled people to keep caring, to keep going at all, has been the friendships, advice and care forged online. Continue reading

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Support for adoptive families experiencing violence and abuse from children

The publication last April of the research report: Beyond the Adoption Order highlighted the urgent need within the adoption community for support around the issue of children’s violence to parents, and so I have been interested to follow how this is developing at both the large scale organisational, and more intimate networking, levels. Many adoption agencies offer training around the issue, specifically in Non Violent Resistance (NVR) a theory and technique first developed for this group by Haim Omer. Continue reading

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Writing about violence from children

Recently I have been contacted by a number of people also blogging about teenage violence, or about diagnoses associated with children exhibiting violence to their parents or others.

Understanding PDA is a website / blog by Jane Sherwin, bringing a wealth of experience about  Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome, including a helpful booklet which explains the syndrome for professionals as well as parents, and sharing strategies that have worked with her nine year old daughter. Continue reading

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