When I started this website in 2011, I had very grandiose ideas – bringing together everything in the world about CPVA into one place, while simultaneously being incredibly naïve about how I would achieve that – or how long I would carry on for! As it happens, it has proved to be both a challenge and a privilege to keep it going for so long and to learn so much myself along the way.
In June this year I announced my plans to retire, and although I had been winding things down for a while, I was absolutely clear that ‘Holes’ should carry on, and so I have been working with a number of people over the last months to ensure this can happen.
I am delighted now to let you know that from November 2024 this website will be managed by a team of people with vast experience in this area of need and work, in terms of research, practice, training and personal experience; a team made up of Capa First Response and Durham University. I hope and believe that, under their leadership and management, ‘Holes’ will carry on – and indeed develop in the future – to reach an even bigger audience, and provide a more comprehensive and helpful service for all those who access it. I am pleased to leave it in good hands, and look forward to seeing how it develops over the next 10 years!
In the meantime, thank you all for all your support and encouragement; for the contributions that many have made in terms of advice, content and comments, and indeed for all the work that you all do. I hope you will continue to supply all of those for the new team going forward, and that you will join me in wishing them all well.
On the way to work on the train? Walking the dog? While you’re doing the ironing? Or do you find a quiet half hour to focus solely on the content? However you find the time, there are some great podcasts out the at the moment, focussing either specifically on children using harmful behaviour towards parents – CPV – or on different approaches to working with families to bring about a more healthy and hopeful life. These may be directed first and foremost towards professionals – offering guidance for work with families, or they may offer tips and strategies directly to those affected. Whatever you are looking for, they all remind us that this is something that is more prevalent than we might have imagined previously, but that there is hope when you find the right people who know their stuff!
By no means a definitive list, but here is a selection of some of the top podcasts regarding CPV.
The Adoption and Fostering podcast is now in its 9th year, with nearly 200 episodes in the library. Al Coates and Scott Casson-Rennie discuss a range of issues related to contemporary adoption and fostering, often with special guests. Many of the episodes touch on children’s aggressive behaviour towards parents and carers. A fair number focus on this issue specifically. While this is labelled as adoption and fostering, many in other fields will find topics of relevance.
Capa First Response launched Series 1 of their podcasts in early 2024 and already have a second series ready to go. Series 1 features conversations between founder Jane Griffiths, Senior Practitioner Matt Rider, and patron Helen Bonnick, and touched on more general issues regarding child to parent violence and abuse which come up frequently in discussion, while the next episodes will address more specific topics such as neurodiversity. There is a third series in the planning stage.
The NVR podcast is aimed both at professionals and families, with experts in the field discussing strategies, the rationale behind this way of working, and case studies amongst other things. Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) has a proven track record for work with families who have experienced trauma, and looks at ways to de-escalate a situation and build a supportive network around the family. Peter Jakob, Shila Desai, Jill Lubienski and Rachael Aylmer chat together and bring in special guests. The applications are broad, but again, many will touch on families where children are using violence and aggression, or where there are similar overlapping issues.
Sarah Fisher is an NVR practitioner who developed Connective Family, a practice supporting families where children are exhibiting challenging behaviour. Her podcasts are often shorter than others but full of down to earth advice and quick tips for busy families.
Interwoven Connections is a Canadian Organisation supporting ‘the tapestry of families and relationships formed through adoption, kinship and customary care’, particularly where children are using harmful behaviours towards parents and carers. They have a library of resources for parents including webinars and podcasts.
There are of course many other resources as well as these listed. You will find some listed on the Sound and Vision page, but I would also invite comments if you have suggestions of other relevant podcasts which have been helpful to you and which you can recommend to others on this subject!
Since 2022, PEGS have been marking International CPA Awareness Day in October. In a busy field of awareness days it was surely time we had our turn, and PEGS have worked hard to make it a meaningful event of awareness raising as well as celebration of achievement. This year the day falls on Monday 14th October and the team have put together a virtual conference of renowned international speakers, bringing together researchers, policy makers, decision makers, frontline professionals and campaigners.
It is the first time professionals from across the globe will gather together to share updates, policies, research and education, alongside the team at PEGS.
The speaker line up is impressive and this will certainly be an interesting all day event. You can find out more information about the day, as well as booking your place, via the PEGS website.
CPA (child to parent abuse) is the term preferred by PEGS, but they include within this umbrella all the many harms that parents experience, whatever you choose to call it.
There are many other conferences coming up over the next weeks and months which will be of interest to those working with families experiencing child to parent violence and abuse. Head over to the Events page for more information about these opportunities.
The 8th International Conference on Non Violent Resistance is being held in Amsterdam next April – 3rd, 4th and 5th. More information and registration details here.
Proposals for presentations are invited, deadline for submission is 15th September, and those accepted will receive a FREE place at the conference.
It’s not the first time, of course, but that doesn’t stop the excitement when the issues surrounding child to parent violence and abuse (CPVA) are brought to greater public awareness through inclusion in a popular soap on TV or even the radio!
I am pleased to post this request from Equality Collabs who have been commisioned by the Mayor’s Office for Police and Crime (MOPAC) to undertake research to enable better understanding around adult-child to parent harm, violence and abuse. The project focuses on the London area, but responses are welcomed from parents and carers around the country.
To take part in the survey you can scan the QR code above, or access the form via this link.
What would be the first thing to do if you were starting from scratch?
Not the usual question I am asked. In the past it would have been “how much is there?”; more recently the enquirer would be asking for priorities from a list of recommendations. But I was meeting last week with Sarah Townsend, Principal Advisor to Te Puna Aonui, the New Zealand joint venture to improve the whole-of-government approach to family and sexual violence.
When an election is called, civil servants are subject to strict rules about what they can and can’t do. The work of government is in effect paused until the new administration takes office. This means that from 24th May it has not been possible to learn any more about the Home Office Consultation on terminology and the definition of child to parent abuse; and more importantly that it is not clear what will happen after the election on July 4th. Having been banging on about this for at least the last ten years, and having just this week announced my retirement, I am struggling not to take this personally!
In March 2016 I went to Kings Cross to meet with someone I had been talking to on Twitter for a year. Needless to say, my family were horrified! I have just been looking back over our preparatory conversation – lots of nonsense about what we both looked like and whether we would be wearing a rose to recognise each other. Reader, we both survived the experience and became good friends, working together to raise awareness of child to parent violence and abuse and the lack of support particularly for older adolescents and young adults post adoption.
This last weekend, ‘J’ – because it was her I met, founder of The POTATO Group – and the rest of the POTATO committee, put on a conference in Birmingham: Far, far beyond the adoption order, Lessons from lives impacted by trauma. Organised entirely by themselves, while simultaneously parenting traumatised young people and adults,it was by far one of the most powerful and moving presentations I have ever seen.
HOLES IN THE WALL 