Tag Archives: Child to parent violence

CPV Mapping: Question, Questions, Questions!

There has been an amazing response to the launch of the map last week, locating specialist services for families experiencing child to parent violence, with some very lovely compliments – THANK YOU – and many comments and questions via twitter and email. For ease, I am going to combine them and try to answer as many as possible here.

The URL is a bit clunky. Is there a plan to make it easier to remember?

At the moment the project is hosted on a website designed to enable communities to network and support each other. Most of the groups are geographically based, though ours is a community of interest. We chose this platform because of convenience at the time, cost and the support offered. We would like the map to become a properly resourced resource, kept up to date and easily accessible. We would then move it to somewhere more appropriate and memorable.

What do the different colour “hexes” mean on the map?

Each “hex” represents a service. If you click on them you can learn more about the service offered. They are colour coded at the moment by the type of agency. This isn’t necessarily the most helpful way of coding them though, so it might be changed at some point.

Why only England and Wales?

A number of reasons for this. The way we have located services has been through a huge networking exercise. My own network covers England so we have been looking to exhaust possibilities here first. The Steering Group includes a representative from the Youth Justice Board, which covers England and Wales. In order to make the project manageable in the timescale we had to draw a line somewhere, and so decided on England and Wales. There is a different youth justice system in Scotland for instance, and we do not have the same “way in”.  Ireland could indeed be included, as the Daphne RCPV project encompassed the work going on there, but again, time is a factor in this not being included. I know there are people investigating on my behalf though and hoping to send other links as soon as they can. Indeed, I would like to thank the many people who have passed on suggestions of services they know about, and enabled us to cover as much as we have.

Why isn’t the service I told you about included?

Sometimes agencies have decided not to be involved, perhaps because the service they provide is still at the early stages. Sometimes people have just not responded to emails and phone calls. There are lots of reasons for this and I appreciate that everyone is very busy. There is still time for more people to be included at any time. Please do keep sending suggestions, as it is good to know about the work that is going on.

Are you planning to include other types of service?

It would be lovely to be able to capture everything. This might include telephone support, peer mentoring, agencies offering support as part of a more general package, individual counsellors and counselling agencies, to name the types of help I know about. Time!

 

The map is very much a ‘work in progress’. Though this project is nearing the end, we hope that we will be able to find the resources to continue with it and to continue to build a picture of the help that is gradually developing for families experiencing violence and abuse from their children. And finally, do please let us know if you think it would be a useful resource for you, and in what way.

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The West Midlands Police response to CPV

Despite urging that we take steps to name and count incidents of child to parent violence, I am generally sceptical about the release of statistics from the police. (I’ve explained why previously here.) Nevertheless, the publication in the last week of figures from the West Midlands Police received widespread coverage in both local and national press, and is to be welcomed. Continue reading

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Child to parent violence, nothing new under the sun

An article from the Independent newspaper from 1995 was brought to my attention by a tweet from Amanda Holt. The piece, “He’s my son. I love him. But he beats me up“, demonstrates that CPV is far from a new phenomenon, that even 20 years ago there was evidence of children as young as 8 years old involved – and that the connection with intimate partner violence for many families was recognised. In fact it brings together neatly the impact on daily lives as families try to avoid anyone knowing what is going on, the humiliation of having to ask for help, and each woman’s belief that she is the only one involved because of the secrecy around the issue.

Thankfully there is now help available at any earlier stage – but parents may still struggle to find the understanding and support they need close to home.

I believe the legislation mentioned here, the Family Homes and Domestic Violence Bill, was enacted in Northern Ireland, but not in England and Wales.

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Child to parent violence: law and research in Florida

When Rosemary Pate was killed by her son in Florida in 2013, family and friends began a campaign to raise awareness of this form of violence within the family and to provide better protection for families affected. Significantly the campaign included not only pressure for treatment and counselling, but also moves to introduce legislation. Breaking the Cycle Consulting (BTC), a Florida based program, has been ideally placed to develop such services and has recently been working in collaboration with researchers at the University of Central Florida (UCF) to inform the development of legislation. Continue reading

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Where are the specialist services?

Readers of this blog will be familiar with my dream of mapping specialist services around the country for those experiencing child to parent violence (here). With a small amount of funding secured this undertaking finally began for real in May of this year, working half a day a week. What is being found is telling in a number of ways.

  • As expected there is little specialist provision over all.
  • Discovering services that are new to me has been difficult. How much more difficult must it be for parents?
  • Working out who to approach. In some areas a service is run by a domestic violence organisation, in others through youth offending and some are independent. A single point of contact for referrals / requests is thus absolutely essential.
  • Sometimes services are not open to all families. For example, some are only for young people already engaged with the youth offending team.
  • Practitioners in local services may not always be familiar with services other organisations are running.
  • There is a lot of adaptation of tried and tested programmes to fit local situations (or perhaps the skill set or inclination of the practitioners?)
  • Funding issues – there is sometimes a degree of uncertainty as to how long the programme will continue.

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The use of section 20 placements in CPV

This post follows on from a small discussion I took part in on twitter on June 2nd, itself emerging from a conference asking Is the Child Protection System Fit for Purpose? #CPConf2015 (Sadly one which I did not attend.) There are numerous write-ups of the conference available on line. The organisers have one here. You can read one from a parent who took part here.

This is about an issue that I would like to understand more as it effects real people (rather than in a theoretical way), and I’m relying on you all to help me: the use of section 20 placements (Children Act 1989) when parents seek support with an abusive child from Children’s Services.  It seems to me that this would be an important part of a tiered response, and yet I hear very negative comments about the implementation.  Through my own experience, through listening to people, particularly on twitter (but also “real life”) I have conjured up a series of statements and questions as a starter for debate. So here goes …. Continue reading

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A problem the size of Wales

Two eagerly awaited (by me) reports were published last week, coincidentally, both examining the issue of children’s violence to parents as experienced in Wales.

Beyond the Adoption Order (Wales): Discord and disruption in adoptive families, by Professor Julie Selwyn and Dr Sarah Meakings at the University of Bristol, is an important follow up to the report on adoption disruption in England last year. Very similar findings to the England report were found. All cases of disruption included APV,  typically emerging around the age of 13 years. Experiences of support from agencies, family and friends are examined throughout the process. Extensive recommendations are included at the end. Since the time of the report, Wales has established a National Adoption Service. Continue reading

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The Adoption Social: Listening to and supporting each other

One of the particular groups of people I follow on twitter has been the adoption community. Early on in my exploration of children’s violence to parents, and more especially after publication of the report Beyond the Adoption Order, I become aware that families living with children they had adopted were facing sometimes extreme levels of violence and that it often felt different to other forms of CPV. Often times it involved children as young as three or four, and could clearly be linked back to experiences of trauma: neglect, violence, abandonment, multiple placements, and the cutting of familial ties. These were children demonstrating anger, grief, frustration and most of all fear, and – as with all CPV – there was very little being offered in the way of support. A few tentative steps are now being taken in developing therapies and support packages for families, but one of the key things that has enabled people to keep caring, to keep going at all, has been the friendships, advice and care forged online. Continue reading

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Thinking about Education

Something a bit different for a change today inspired by a compilation of essays on education, The Connected School from ncb.

If you are put off by a blog about schools, by all means look away now; but having been involved in direct work with families in schools for over 17 years, this is something that I feel strongly about; and of course children spend a huge proportion of their lives within the school gates. We need to get this right if we are to foster healthy, happy learners. For those anxious for a link with child to parent violence here, I would draw attention to the way that many children have been found to bottle up their stress at school, taking it out on parents once they reach the “safe” confines of home. Continue reading

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Non Violent Resistance

Non-Violent Resistance, as a response to child to parent violence, has attracted considerable attention and support among the adoption community, so I was pleased to come across this blog from Frogotter, outlining their experience of attending an NVR course with Peter Jakob.

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We were pretty excited about attending a course on Non Violent Resistance. It was run by Adoption UK and had Peter Jakob speaking. Violence has become our biggest concern with the boys. Not really because they’re getting worse, if anything they are getting better at handling their impulses. But, as they get larger and stronger, any violence at all starts to be a bit worrying. So, a day course about dealing with aggression without getting aggressive sounded perfect.
I’d already read a book about it, but I was concerned that it seemed aimed at parents of older children, and wasn’t entire applicable to us, yet.
On the other hand, some of the ideas sounded different to things I’ve read in other books, and that was rather exciting!
So, we turned up hopeful, but not expecting much.
The first thing I always look for from an expert is what they…

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