Tag Archives: child to parent violence and abuse

by helenbonnick | February 2, 2022 · 1:05 am

Mothering challenging adult children

Happy Publication Day to Judith Smith, author of Difficult: mothering challenging adult children through conflict and change, which is published today!

Reading this very welcome book, I was faced with a barrage of emotions:

Terrible sadness at the sacrifices made by so many women to keep their child as safe as they know how.
Anger at the expectations and prejudices in the attitudes of others towards mothers giving a home or a helping hand to their adult children.
Weary resignation in the knowledge that the public services needed to take over the care still do not exist in sufficient numbers.
A smile at the similarities in so much of the book with my own field of child to parent violence and abuse.
And a shout of joy that the book exists – an answer to so many emails and calls for help that I and others receive each week!

Tagged as child to parent violence and abuse, Difficult parenting, Judith Smith, mothering challenging adult children, Stages of change model

by helenbonnick | January 18, 2022 · 4:26 pm

How can I be sure? Developing a standard for work with families experiencing child to parent violence and abuse

How do I choose between different training and trainers?

Can I be sure this service will really help my family?

What would make me choose to commission one programme rather than another?

All questions I have been asked over the years – some more recently than others – and all very valid!

How do you decide between different providers, now that the number of agencies offering training and provision around child to parent violence and abuse is growing at pace, and with so many programmes being designed from scratch? With so much offered online now, there is no longer the easy decision about travel time, though budget-size might still feature as a legitimate concern. And there remains limited research citing clear evidence of the long term effectiveness of different approaches.

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Tagged as child to parent violence and abuse, CRiVA, Nicole Westmarland, Respect, Standards

by helenbonnick | January 6, 2022 · 11:41 am

A consideration of violence

I’d like to start the new year off with a hope that we will see a continuing growth in understanding around child to parent violence and abuse – at all stages of life – and that that understanding will be matched by resourcing and provision. I wish all of you reading this good health in 2022, a kinder year hopefully for all!

In the meantime I have a guest blog from Jason Mitchell of Semblance Theatre, considering our understanding of violence and the meaning we make of it. I came across the work of Semblance Theatre through a Google alert. Jason is the Developmental Lead for Semblance, an organisation that combines extensive experience in the field of childhood trauma, particularly around adoption, with therapeutic approaches and performance arts. Over to you Jason ….

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Tagged as child to parent violence and abuse, childhood trauma, Jason Mitchell, Semblance Theatre, violence

by helenbonnick | December 21, 2021 · 1:54 pm

Some seasonal thoughts

We* are all feeling a little emotional at the moment (covid, Strictly Come Dancing final, new grand daughter, Christmas songs on the radio), so I might be forgiven for maybe shedding a tear when I read the letter from Nikki Rutter to her co-researchers, published in entanglements. Please read it yourself – I won’t try to comment on it.

The last year has seen incredible advances in many ways in people talking about child to parent violence and abuse, in media coverage, in government funding for the development of support, and in the publication of new research. But the months of covid have, we know, also been difficult beyond our imagination for those living with this as part of their daily lives. This knowledge MUST temper our celebrations. And it should also sharpen our determination to listen to your voices, to learn from you and to hear what works, what makes things worse, what brings hope and what makes you angry or despairing. That should be our new year resolution if we make them, and that will be my hope for the next year of writing.

In the meantime, I was going to write something fairly bland and dry about opening hours over the holiday. I’ll just leave you with these links to organisations offering support at this time. Wishing you peace, and hope for 2022.

* Royal we, meaning me, obviously!

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Filed under Family life

Tagged as Capa First response, Child to parent violence, child to parent violence and abuse, Family Lives, Nikki Rutter, PEGS, Samaritans, Young Minds

by helenbonnick | November 3, 2021 · 1:11 am

Positive feedback

People who know me will probably tell you that I tend to shy away from conflict. Not quite “peace at all costs”, but nearly so. I’m sure it’s something I’ve carried from my childhood and, as I’m more aware of it, I reflect on when it can be a helpful stance to take – or not!

It’s something I hear of a lot, listening to parents who are living with violence and abuse from their children, as they become more and more restricted in the space they have and the lives they live in an attempt not to trigger ‘an incident’. Something that can seem helpful at the time perhaps, but ultimately this is going in only one direction.

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Child to Parent Abuse Covenant

Time and time again I hear about the impact that child to parent violence and abuse can have on a parent’s ability to maintain employment. Whether in terms of embarrassment about injuries or taking time off sick; or having to be at home to supervise a child excluded from school, many parents have told me about the strain this places on their working life, often leading to a decision (not always voluntary) to leave a job, with all the changes this brings in terms of finances, social contact, and even housing.

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CPV: Challenging (my) assumptions

In early research it was reported (Charles) that child to parent violence (CPV) was an issue more likely to be found in white families, as black or Hispanic parenting practice was considered to offer greater protection through a more rigid and traditional style. And yet, in Britain, we see Afro-Caribbean young people over-represented in the police statistics when the figures are broken down. For many years now, children and young people’s violence and abuse towards their parents has been documented right around the world, whether through research or via media reporting. When I was studying the issue in 2005, I came across stories from Saudi Arabia, China, Singapore, Malta, and Nepal. Amanda Holt references work from both north and south America, Europe, Australia, South Africa, Iran, India, and Sri Lanka; and of course we have research too from New Zealand, Japan and Egypt. Simmons et al suggest that this is a phenomenon of industrialised nations wherever they are. But how do we interpret this sort of information, and what conclusions do we draw? What do assertions and data such as these really tell us about what is going on? What assumptions underlie the work we do?

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Tagged as Amanda Holt, Child to parent violence, child to parent violence and abuse, CPV, Hope Training, Simmons et al, Sistah Space

by helenbonnick | September 18, 2021 · 11:50 am

Practitioners’ Networks

It’s always encouraging to be able to share with peers, to hear of new developments and learning, swap tips and good practice, and offer advice and ideas when things get tricky. In a relatively new area such as Child to Parent Violence and Abuse we are all learning, and so opportunities to hear from others involved in similar work, whether through formal learning or through less formal sharing and discussion are much appreciated and sought after!

There are 2 such opportunities coming up:

Family Based Solutions instituted a professionals’ network during lockdown, and their next session is on October 18th. More details here.

If you work in Sussex and can’t wait that long there is a newly established Sussex Child to Parent Abuse Network, a shared venture between The Rita Project and Capa First Response, which has its inaugural meeting on December 9th*, supporting professionals working with families across the county. More information and booking here.

Please do make use of these opportunities, and also check out the Directory to see if there are other agencies near where you are based, to promote further opportunities to learn and grow together. I am always happy to post announcements such as these, so let me know if there are other similar networks out there!

*Please note change of date from that originally posted.

Do you know about the Forensic CAMHS service?

I must confess I hadn’t heard of Community Forensic CAMHS services, so it was interesting to sit down (virtually) with Dr. Andrew Newman from Oxford Health NHS Foundation Trust to hear all about the work they do. The service is quite new, established nationally around 3 years ago, although already operating in some areas prior to that. Currently it covers all of England, divided into 13 regions. As a highly specialist service, the regions are large and Andy works within the South West (North) Community CAMHS service, covering Bristol, South Gloucestershire, Gloucestershire, North Somerset, Wiltshire, Swindon, Bath and North East Somerset.

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Tagged as child to parent violence and abuse, Dr Andrew Newman, Forensic CAMHS

by helenbonnick | July 6, 2021 · 8:03 pm

Research into child to parent violence and abuse in London

I have been asked by Amanda Holt to post this request for practitioners based in London to consider taking part in an important research project. The surge in interest in child to parent violence and abuse over the last year has been truly impressive, and this research, commissioned by the London Violence Reduction Unit, seeks to move beyond interest to understanding, and then hopefully on to provision.

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2 Comments

Filed under Research

Tagged as Amanda Holt, CAPVA, child to parent violence and abuse, London Violence Reduction Unit, London VRU

Tag Archives: child to parent violence and abuse

Mothering challenging adult children

Happy Publication Day to Judith Smith, author of Difficult: mothering challenging adult children through conflict and change, which is published today!

How can I be sure? Developing a standard for work with families experiencing child to parent violence and abuse

A consideration of violence

Some seasonal thoughts

Positive feedback

Child to Parent Abuse Covenant

CPV: Challenging (my) assumptions

Practitioners’ Networks

Do you know about the Forensic CAMHS service?

Research into child to parent violence and abuse in London

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DOCUMENTING PARENT ABUSE

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