Category Archives: Discussion

Something else to worry about!

There are a lot of reasons why we might be anxious about the influence of Disney in the children’s clothes and games markets. We might justifiably be concerned about the effects on young people of so much time spent in front of a screen. But I’m not quite ready to include an inevitable slide towards parent abuse among my reasons!

Not having a subscription to the Times newspaper, I bought a real, paper copy last Thursday, 28th February, in order to see the write up of the grant awarded to the University of Brighton for their CPV research. The half column write up on page 5 told me only what I knew already, but I was attracted to an article in Times2 by Helen Rumbelow, and extracts from a book by Sue Palmer, under the headline, Unhappy Daughters: how we are raising a troubled generation. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Discussion

Don’t forget those working one to one!

I posted earlier in the week the details of some training coming up in the UK in April. “Crossing the Line, Working with Teen to Parent Abuse” is a three day training course for practitioners wishing to develop understanding and processes – as well as specific  resources – for work in both group and one-to-one situations. On the Events and Training page you can find full details of the course, testimonials and biographies for the two trainers delivering the event, as well as booking forms. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Discussion, Training opportunities

Silent Suffering

I have mentioned previously the hub page: The silent suffering of parent abuse when children abuse parents. This was started around 3 years ago by Lou Purplefairy and includes information about how to recognise parent abuse, suggestions of where to go for help and an empassioned plea  for greater recognition and support for parents. There are over 100 comments on the thread, some from parents describing their experiences and others offering advice and support.

Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under Discussion

Reading about adolescent to parent abuse

A couple of years ago, I briefly joined a reading group. I had been encouraged to believe that the discipline would enable me to find space in my life to explore books I might not otherwise choose to read. It worked – but unfortunately only for me in that particular group. As I stare at the monumental pile on my desk now, which includes books I purchased over five years ago, I feel rather contrite and certainly less judgmental towards my onetime comrades. Continue reading

5 Comments

Filed under Discussion, publications

A Review of Parent Abuse in 2012

Looking back over the last year, I was re-reading my post of January 1st 2012, which I concluded by saying

As we enter the new year, the task before us is to clearly and honestly set out the facts of parent abuse, without resorting to scare mongering and without blaming one side or another; and to do so in a way that politicians, policy makers, practitioners and public all come to recognise that abuse for what it is, and seek to support the whole family to turn their lives around.

2012 certainly proved to be an interesting and exciting year in the field of parent abuse work as people got to grips with the task at hand! Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Discussion

“If Lanza ( ) had been confronted by a qualified armed, security guard ..”

I was hesitant about wading in on the debate in the wake of the tragic events in Newtown, Connecticut a week ago. While we were all so shocked by the senseless deaths of so many children, school staff, and the gunman’s own mother, and without proper context, it did not seem appropriate to draw attention to a possible link with my own cause; but in the wake of the NRA response, which calls for even greater arming of the population, I feel no such restraint. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Discussion, news reports

Jailed for life for killing his mother

There was coverage in the media in Britain this week of the tragic case of Leah Whittle, stabbed to death by her son, then aged 16 years, in “a ferocious attack” in July this year. The killing is presented as an isolated act of violence, though coming from a disturbed family situation. The death of a parent is not always linked with previous patterns of parent abuse, and there is much here that we do not know. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Discussion, news reports

Parent Abuse: a parent’s worst nightmare?

“A parent’s worst nightmare” is a phrase which seems to come up all too often these days, and leaves me wondering how many worst nightmares there could be, as it is used in relation to children who are the victims of bullying, predatory abuse, abduction, drug addiction, suicide  … the list is seemingly endless. This is not to belittle the experiences of these parents. For each individual parent experiencing one of these events it will indeed seem like their worst nightmare, just as will the reality of being abused by your own child. But perhaps we need to move away from hyperbole towards a calmer rendering of events. As we talk about our passions and commitment to our work we can believe that descriptions of the extreme will further our cause as they “whip up” emotional responses and “convert” people to our way of thinking and understanding. That can happen, but there can also be interesting and unexpected side effects, not least in the unconscious ways we come to construct our own belief systems through the words and phrases we repeat. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Discussion

Understanding Parent Abuse in under 90 minutes?

Writing some training materials recently, I’ve been forced to be more concise than usual about the main issues facing practitioners working in the field of parent abuse at the moment. An hour and a half doesn’t feel very long when there is so much to say!

So far, this is what I’ve come up with. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Discussion

They F*** You Up

Reading an interview with author, Norah Vincent, this week, I came over all philosophical. Vincent was speaking to Emilee Lindner for Buffalonews.com, about her new book, “Thy Neighbor”. The particular passage that got me thinking was this:

Q: One of those “lines” in the book is where you explain that it’s OK for children to reject their parents, but it’s not OK for a parent to reject their child. Why do you think that’s a taboo in society? Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under Discussion