Silent Suffering

I have mentioned previously the hub page: The silent suffering of parent abuse when children abuse parents. This was started around 3 years ago by Lou Purplefairy and includes information about how to recognise parent abuse, suggestions of where to go for help and an empassioned plea  for greater recognition and support for parents. There are over 100 comments on the thread, some from parents describing their experiences and others offering advice and support.

Amidst the agonising stories – very difficult to read – from parents experiencing abuse carrying on over many many years, I was heartened to read “Sandra’s” story, posted 6 weeks ago – so beginning of December 2012. (You’ll have to count back as entries are not dated) Sandra was lucky enough to find understanding and support from a local police officer who had been trained and equipped to recognise and respond to parent abuse. Sadly many parents are not so lucky, though not necessarily the fault of the police officers themselves. Sandra describes a long period of abuse, as a result of which she found alternative accommodation for her daughter. Over time they were able to heal their relationship and make a new start.

Sandra has gone on to complete a Masters dissertation looking at the Health Impacts of Parent Abuse. I would love to read this and to make it more widely available. If Sandra, or anyone who knows her, would like to contact me perhaps we can discuss this further.

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Silent Suffering

  1. tracey watts

    hi im in same boat my son is abusive but im not believed. by social services I had a bad day today and am in tears again. my son is a nasty manipulative, dangerous boy. no one knows it but me. I believe this will always be the same. so I am throwing him out when he reaches 16. perhaps someone should have believed me then they could have helped but no one bothered. or wanted to believe me. so hes out.in a few weeks. I wont feel any better for it. I will feel like a complete failure. main reason to throw him out is im scared what he might do next. and im scared what I might do with the frustration of not being believed. and knowing he is enjoying that. almost feeding his energy off that . makes me hate him. and myself. he has worked all my love for him out of me. I still love him but I also dispise him. I was told its now the new fashion to not give consequences to your out of control teanager. to just ignore them and walk away or go out. ive been walking streets for 3 weeks now most evening until 10pm. social services know this but don’t seem to care about the parents. so today he has gone up shop and I am locking him out for few ours without tea. he was too aggressive. he cant bloody walk like I do for few hours.

    • HI Tracey
      Thanks for taking the time to write a comment here. I’m so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing, both with your son and in getting some help. If you would like to let me know where you live, I will see if I can suggest a different agency for you to try. Otherwise I would always suggest calling Family Lives confidential helpline which is open from 7am to midnight on 0808 800 2222.
      Thinking of you and hoping you find a way of coping.
      Helen

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