Tag Archives: Nikki Rutter

BBC Highlights Urgent Need for Support on Child Violence Against Parents

The BBC has recently been working with families across the North East of England to explore their experiences of ‘child violence against parent’, raising awareness of the postcode lottery and parent blame impacting parent and their children: Child violence against parents: Victims plead for support – BBC News

BBC Politics North highlighted this in their segment on the 16th of March, speaking to Durham County Council’s Jackie Staff, Durham Police and Crime Commissioner Joy Allen, parents and social workers in the North East, and our own Dr Nikki Rutter from Durham University. You can see this on BBC Iplayer: Politics North (North East and Cumbria) – 16/03/2025 – BBC iPlayer

The Anna Foster show at BBC Newcastle also welcomed Dr Nikki Rutter on the 17th of March to speak more about some of the real challenges facing families living with this form of harm. Holes in The Wall was mentioned as a resource. You can access this until the 15th April 2025 via BBC Sounds: Anna Foster – 17/03/2025 – BBC Sounds

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International Child To Parent Abuse Conference

On October 14th, 2024, Parental Education Growth Support (PEGS) hosted an International Child to Parent Abuse (CPA*) conference online.  The conference was well attended, provided British Sign Language Interpreters for every presentation, and there were a range of speakers from around the globe with the goal of fostering “a collaborative environment where stakeholders can share knowledge and strategies to better support those impacted by CPA” (PEGSupport.co.uk).

A clear thread which ran through the day was the way in which different professionals, practitioners, and researchers were using a public health approach to understand CPA. 

The first speaker, His Honor Judge James Burbidge, highlighted that substance misuse is often found in cases that are seen in the Crown Court, providing two case examples of adult children, one was initially charged with attempted murder of her mother, the second was an adult child who had sexually assaulted his mother and planned to physically harm her. Julie Mackay provided case examples of patricide in her afternoon presentation. Substance misuse and serious mental health issues of the adult children were considered a prominent feature in every presentation. Amanda Warburton Wynn’s case study of a grandson who murdered his grandmother also referred to significant mental health issues and the pressures of mutual caring responsibilities. The lack of support for those supporting children or grandchildren with mental health challenges is a clear issue which has led to terrible outcomes for whole families.

More positively, PEGS have been working with Brightstar for many years, and they provide sessions for young people at risk of causing harm through a needs-based understanding (i.e. if a person has their needs met, they are less likely to cause harm). With a Believe, Belong, Become throughline, Brightstar begin each session with boxing, helping young people to meet their affective needs and regulate their emotions, they then continue to a behavioural session talking through thoughts and feelings (affective needs, relational needs). The importance of recognising unmet needs was also outlined by Jeremy Todd (Family Lives) through a violence-reduction programme of work in which parents are supported to understand and not normalise of minimise the harm, which includes supporting children with their neurodivergent, mental or emotional health needs.

Other, specific, CPA intervention programmes were outlined by Dr Andy Newman. A particular challenge in ‘what works’ for CPA is the lack of consistency, lack of long term data, and whilst many of the interventions mentioned have shown promising outcomes, it is clear that there is no one-size fits all, with some interventions being applied on populations they were not designed for (i.e. positive behavioural support for autistic children when it was designed for children with learning disability). What is clear is that there are many excellent services available, so much so that responses may be positive because of the good working practices, rather than the usefulness of a particular intervention.

NHS Safeguarding reported similar challenges, particularly regarding the relevance of neurodivergence and poor mental health in this area; that diagnoses are not labels, but a useful lens in which to understand a child’s experiences in the world. This concurred with Amanda Holt’s findings, who also found that parents would focus on the wellbeing of their child over their own safety. Both presenters, as well as Dr Silke Meyer in the afternoon session highlighted that a whole family approach, one which recognises that they have individual needs, as well as family needs, is important. Furthermore, recognise the wider family or systems, as many children live outside the family or with others in a parenting role.

A more systematic approach to tackling CPA was identified by Sarah Townsend who shared findings from her Winston Churchill Memorial Trust Travel Fellowship, exploring how New Zealand could learn from the UK and Australia when implementing policy guidance. How policy can stay ahead of progress is a challenge through, as highlighted by Emma Pickering, tech-facilitated abuse is evolving faster than policy-makers can keep up, and this has resulted in harmful artificial-intelligence generated imagery. Furthermore, just parents increasingly monitor their children’s locations using technology, children are doing the same for their parents.

How to help families through the lens of public health was clear throughout, with an emphasis on looking at how certain features of a person’s identity creating additional barriers to accessing support. Kate Fejfer spoke to how those from Eastern Europe have specific challenges when accessing support for domestic abuse more broadly, whereas Polly Harrar (CEO The Sharan Project) talked through the challenges South Asian families, and particular mothers, have when navigating CPA. Vulnerabilities of older adults was discussed by Rebecca Zirk, with Richard Robinson (Hourglass service) advocating for an older person’s commissioner, as Northern Ireland and Wales have one, but England and Scotland do not. 

PEGS is continuing to engage in a myriad of awareness raising activities of CPA, led by their founder Michelle John. Comments relating to the conference can be found on social media via #StandWithPEGS, and employers are encouraged to sign their CPA covenant to support any employees living with CPA.

Find out more about the event, and future PEGS events:  https://www.pegsevents.co.uk/

Nikki Rutter

*CPA is the preferred terminology of PEGS and the parents involved with them, and so is the language used throughout this blog.

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A new way of thinking: The Explosive Child

I was first recommended this book by Kate Iwi in 2018, and reminded of it again reading the recent paper from Nikki Rutter.

Greene offers a new way of thinking about “behaviourally challenging children”, and about their parents, which prompts a different response to their behaviour from the adults around them. While he uses the term ‘Explosive’ in the title, he admits to being a little unhappy with it as he finds the challenging behaviour to be often predictable, and also often ‘implosive’. Nevertheless, it will chime with many families, who will recognise the behaviours described within its pages. Greene lays out ‘Plan B’ in easily digestible steps as a way forward in the journey to restoring peace and safety in the home. With many examples both of the behaviour, and scripts to follow, this is a book that you could comfortably read in a couple of sessions – but don’t! With resources to download and homework to do you will be referring to this over a longer period of time.

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Some seasonal thoughts

We* are all feeling a little emotional at the moment (covid, Strictly Come Dancing final, new grand daughter, Christmas songs on the radio), so I might be forgiven for maybe shedding a tear when I read the letter from Nikki Rutter to her co-researchers, published in entanglements. Please read it yourself – I won’t try to comment on it.

The last year has seen incredible advances in many ways in people talking about child to parent violence and abuse, in media coverage, in government funding for the development of support, and in the publication of new research. But the months of covid have, we know, also been difficult beyond our imagination for those living with this as part of their daily lives. This knowledge MUST temper our celebrations. And it should also sharpen our determination to listen to your voices, to learn from you and to hear what works, what makes things worse, what brings hope and what makes you angry or despairing. That should be our new year resolution if we make them, and that will be my hope for the next year of writing.

In the meantime, I was going to write something fairly bland and dry about opening hours over the holiday. I’ll just leave you with these links to organisations offering support at this time. Wishing you peace, and hope for 2022.

Capa First Response

PEGS

Family Lives

Young Minds

Samaritans

* Royal we, meaning me, obviously!

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CPV, Home to School and Back Again

This is the second in a recent series of guest posts. Nikki Rutter writes about the overlap between violence and abuse from children in education settings, and in the home. Nikki is an ESRC-funded Doctoral Researcher at the department of Sociology at Durham University. Her research interests include: Child-to-parent violence, domestic abuse, violence against women and girls, grounded theory. She is a member of Durham University’s Centre for Research into Violence and Abuse (CRiVA), and Communities and Social Justice Research Group at Durham University. You can contact Nikki on twitter. See more details of her work on the CPV Research Directory.

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