What do you do if you are a parent experiencing violence and abuse from your child but there is no help available where you live? So many parents speak of a lack of understanding from non-specialists, and regular parenting groups that can make the situation worse rather than better. Up until now the only recourse might have been to online message boards, helplines or friends. Now there is a “virtual group” in the shape of a step-by-step guide to understanding behaviours that can hinder or help the restoration of a healthy family relationship. Continue reading
Tag Archives: My Violent Child
This started off as a weary rant from me today and then changed tone as the day progressed!
While it has been exciting and encouraging to see the increase in coverage of child to parent violence and abuse in the media over the last week, I have been disappointed yet again by the tone of some of the pieces and the apparent laziness of reporting.
The main headline in the Times, (you may not be able to read the next line, “Families cannot deal with minor domestic rows”) today picks up on the report from Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary into the welfare of vulnerable people in police custody, which has held centre stage across the media today. This highlights the often inappropriate use of custody for individuals experiencing poor mental health, or other vulnerabilities, because of a crisis in other support services; and while researchers have said that the findings show pressures faced by many families and carers, and the fact that the police are often used as the agency of last resort, the first example given – thus setting the tone – is of a dispute over a TV remote control. Other examples are given of greater severity of risk and violence. Parents are described as contacting the police because they reach breaking point. But there is no exploration of this issue in a wider way, other than to suggest lone women are finding it particularly difficult to bring up children. Continue reading
The June screening of the Channel 5 documentary My Violent Child, which attracted over 1.5 million viewers (available here till June 2015), stirred up some very mixed feelings. There is evidence (comments to Channel 5) that many families found it helpful in showing something of what they were themselves experiencing, thus validating their concerns and fears around living with violent teens. The Southampton practitioner and team featured have received many referrals and have developed their work further as a result. Yet other practitioners were seriously concerned by the possible effects of filming vulnerable young people, including graphic footage of their violent and abusive behaviour, as well as the shortage of positive, constructive answers for families shown in the film. I have blogged about this previously here. Continue reading
There has been a very mixed response to the documentary about child to parent violence screened on Channel 5 on Wednesday June 18th.
The programme followed three families from around the country, with boys ranging in age from 7 – 14 years. In each case the child had been physically and verbally abusive to his mother for many years and also, in some cases, to other members of the family or within school. The violence was extreme – and graphically depicted – including punching, kicking and hair pulling, strangling, property destruction and apparently an incident with a meat cleaver. While each family had found some form of assistance, it was made clear that this remains a problematic issue, with specialist support not easy to find, and at the end while some progress was being made, we were told that Brett’s mother risked losing the respite care that she had found so important. Continue reading
In February this year, I wrote about a meeting I had had with Nick Poyntz, from Popkorn TV, to discuss ideas about a forthcoming documentary dealing with child to parent violence. I am pleased to say that this programme has been made and is to be aired on Channel 5 at 9pm, Wednesday 18th June, My Violent Child. Continue reading