Tag Archives: adoption

1,000 children

It’s taken a little while to pull together some thoughts regarding the recent BBC article on the adoption crisis which has forced many children back into care: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0kdv1x83gko

You can read Jane Griffith’s eloquent response on behalf of CAPA to this here: Jane’s response

This piece seems to solidify much of what we have spoken about over over two recent themes: adoption and motherhood. Whilst the focus of the article is very much on parents, and we should never minimise the impact on fathers (indeed we plan to have this as a focus soon!), it was Verity who was arrested after her son accused her of assault, it was Verity who felt suicide may be her only option for escape; and both parents were threatened with prosecution for abandonment. Overall, the piece is a frustrating demonstration of what adoption activists have been talking about for well over a decade. Why has so little changed?

The article is harrowing, and the journalism and efforts of the families to explore the complexity families are often having to juggle alone is done with sensitivity for everyone concerned. As Fiona Wells and PATCH frequently state, if the money is there to place children back into care, the money is there to support the families to prevent this from happening. Traumatised children and teenagers not only require, but deserve compassion and support, and by leaving this the sole responsibility of their adoptive parents means that trauma is prolonged and experienced vicariously.

In the article, Liam, a teenager who was returned to care reflects “I think if social services had sorted themselves out, and I think if we had sorted ourselves out, personally, we could have pushed through and maybe it would have been a different situation“. This is an important reflection by Liam, who recognises a family’s desire to improve their circumstances (“if we had sorted ourselves out“), but this cannot be done without services stepping in to provide the required support (“if social service had sorted themselves out“). Thus, this is not about blame, but about recognising the value of working together to support traumatised children and the parents who love them. If a 17 year old can understand that, why does the law find it so difficult?

John Stuart Mill (English philosopher) famously stated that a moral society can be judged by how it treats its most vulnerable. Reflecting on this idea in the context of the article, where traumatised children are left without intervention, and parents seeking support are threatened with police action… it’s a damning indictment of where we may and how far we have left to go.

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Post-Adoption Support in Crisis: Families Speak Out 

If you are at all interested in Adoption and LinkedIn, you will already be aware of Claire Agius, a PhD student from Manchester Metropolitan University, who has recently submitted her PhD and kindly created a post on her emotionally-aware research with adoptive parents for the final blog on our adoption series.

Adoption is one route to permanence for children who cannot remain with their birth families. Many have lived through neglect, abuse, or significant early adversity. Adoptive parents step forward to provide stability and care, but they cannot heal trauma alone. When systems delay, misdirect, or fragment support, families are left carrying unbearable burdens, and the stability adoption promises is put at risk. 

My doctoral study explores the impact of raising a child with trauma on adoptive parents’ mental health and examines how systemic structures help or hinder families. Conducted between 2022 and 2025, the research combined in-depth interviews with adoptive parents and post-adoption professionals with a participatory, film-based process that enabled parents to revisit and re-interpret their own stories. Parents co-edited emotional “touchpoints” from their filmed interviews, first for emotional processing, and later for collaborative meaning-making. This innovative two-stage process revealed not only what families said in the moment, but how they later understood their struggles, providing rare insight into why problems persist across time. 

Methods and Approach 

The study engaged adoptive parents and post-adoption professionals across England. A distinctive feature was the use of filmed narrative interviews, later revisited with parents through an adapted Experience-Based Co-Design (EBCD) process. Parents co-edited their most painful or telling moments, “emotional touchpoints”, which became the basis for deeper reflection and co-analysis. Importantly, emotions often shifted between the first and second viewing: what was raw distress initially was later reinterpreted with new perspective. This temporal dimension offered a richer understanding of how families live with and make sense of ongoing struggles. 

Key Findings: Five Causal Mechanisms 

The research identified five systemic mechanisms that help explain why adoptive families encounter the same challenges again and again: 

Crisis-Led Logic → Invisible Early Struggle 

Services are triggered by visible breakdown, not early distress. Parents described desperate pleas for help that went unanswered until crisis loomed. Professionals echoed this dynamic, explaining that thresholds and funding criteria meant they were often forced into reactive rather than preventative roles. 

Unsupported Care Work → Relational Burnout 

Parents’ own emotional needs are rarely recognised. The relentless labour of advocating, soothing, and managing daily crises falls heavily on them, with little formal or informal support. Professionals noted that while therapeutic resources might be offered for the child, parental wellbeing was considered a lesser priority in post-adoption support planning. 

Mistrust and Marginalisation → Silenced Insight 

When parents seek help, they are too often met with suspicion or blame. Instead of being recognised as experts on their children, they are treated as the problem. Several professionals reflected on how mistrust erodes open communication, acknowledging that risk-focused cultures can silence parents’ perspectives. 

Systemic Fragmentation → Constant Bureaucratic Burden 

Families must navigate siloed services, repeated assessments, and defensive institutions. Parents spoke of becoming “experts by necessity” in order to access what their children required. Professionals described a fragmented landscape that left them struggling to coordinate support or act decisively across organisational boundaries. 

Service-Defined Progress → Residual Struggle 

Support is often withdrawn once narrow service criteria are met, even if families continue to struggle behind closed doors. Services may focus on keeping placements intact while overlooking the wider toll. Professionals described similar frustrations, noting that time-limited interventions often forced them to close cases prematurely, even when they suspected families would continue to need help. 

Impacts and Implications 

Together, these mechanisms explain why adoptive families experience persistent strain. Parents’ mental health suffers, siblings carry secondary trauma, and placements teeter on the edge of breakdown. For government, the cost is twofold: the human suffering borne by families, and the financial burden of avoidable crises across social care, education, and health. 

The findings carry important implications at multiple levels: 

  • For families: parents’ mental health declines under unsupported care work, and siblings experience secondary trauma that remains invisible to services. 
  • For systems: a crisis-led, fragmented model means resources are mobilised late, at greater human and financial cost. The Adoption Support Fund, while valuable, is shaped by bureaucratic gatekeeping. Parents described decisions made by staff without sufficient trauma knowledge, leading to inappropriate or stop–start provision. Trauma-informed practice must extend from top to bottom of the system, including commissioners and fund-holders as well as frontline practitioners. 
  • For knowledge and practice: by marginalising adoptive parents’ perspectives, services lose access to vital expertise. This study shows that film-based, participatory methods can surface and revisit lived experience in ways that expose persistent problems and open space for collaborative solutions. 

Recommendations 

Based on these findings, five preliminary priorities for reform are proposed: 

  1. Invest in early relational support – Commission services that intervene proactively, building resilience within the first year post-placement. 
  1. Support the whole family – Embed provision that includes parents’ mental health and siblings’ wellbeing alongside the child. 
  1. Reduce bureaucratic gatekeeping – Simplify and standardise access to the Adoption Support Fund so families can receive timely help. 
  1. Embed trauma-informed practice system-wide – Extend trauma awareness beyond frontline therapists to commissioners, fund-holders, and policymakers. 
  1. Value lived expertise through co-design – Involve adoptive parents directly in shaping provision, policy, and evaluation frameworks. 

Conclusion 

Adoptive families are willing partners in the work of healing trauma. But they cannot do it alone. By using filmed interviews and a co-interpretive process, this study demonstrates both the human and systemic costs of current approaches, and the potential of participatory, trauma-informed methods to generate change. Adoption will remain a sustainable route to permanence only if support is early, relational, and family-centred, and if adoptive parents’ lived expertise is recognised as central to system redesign. 

Claire’s ’emotional touchpoints’ will no doubt resonate with many families, and what we really like about her work is the relevance to practice. The recommendations may seem common sense, but they highlight the very real challenges experienced by adoptive families. Do connect with Claire if you are interested in learning more.

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The importance of support and understanding for adoptive families

‘Adoption is in crisis’ was the headline of one of our recent guest blogposts, but are things getting better? Blogs from Patch, Al Coates, Maude Champagne and even Amity Solutions got us thinking about the importance of support and understanding for adoptive families.

Within the UK, the support offered to families through the lack of clarity, and eventual reduction in funding for the Adoption and special guardianship support fund (ASGSF) has been a topic of significant concern over the past 12 months. This fund was once a lifeline for those living with traumatised children who were often dysregulated, distressed, and/or seeking to control the only thing they could, their adoptive or wider families. Once entitling children to up to £3,000 per year for specialist therapies, this funding has reduced by 40% after months of concerns that it was to be removed altogether. 

The ADGSF is the perfect example of when academia, practice and families come together to create change. Julie Selwyn’s report, ‘Beyond the Adoption Order’ highlighted that parents fearing for their own safety, and the safety of other children in the household was the leading cause of adoption ‘breakdown’; creating a platform for parent-activists to share their experience, and evidence which mobilised (and funded) social work systems to provide the essential support to keep families together and reduce harm. However, what has been clear from our recent blog contributors is how these harms are being experienced by adoptive and kinship parents globally.

Adoption is a rupture for a child, regardless of when it occurs in their life, or how wonderful and informed their adoptive parents may be, many children experience on-going trauma because of this rupture. This means adoptive parents are more likely to experience harm from their child than not (see Al Coates Churchill report).  It is essential that support systems act to ensure parents and wider family members are supported so they can support their child(ren). As highlighted by Maude Champagne, too often guidance around what a family may need are hidden behind the paywalls of academic journals and drowning in academic wording that makes no sense to a practitioner. 

Work such as Maude’s ‘decoding aggression’, and Al’s Churchill Fellowship illuminate the need for robust support systems and, most importantly, understanding. Understanding can come from peers and formal systems of peer support, it can come from professionals who understand the complex neurological, developmental, and environmental interactions that occur to increase vulnerability to this form of harm. Understanding these interactions and needs are often placed under the umbrella of ‘being trauma-informed’, however this is very much a ‘buzz word’ at present. What does being ‘trauma-informed’ actually mean? As Fiona Wells and the Patch Steering group highlight, being trauma-informed is only one part of the parenting and professional journey; support and care must also be trauma responsive and recovery focused (for a full list of their recommendations, see: http://www.ourpatch.org.uk). 

Is adoption in crisis? Yes. The global picture is there are fewer adoptive parents, more children waiting for adoptive parents, and the complexity of needs is increasing, with huge gaps in knowledge and service provision. Are things getting better?  Yes. This arena needs more people and teams like Al, Maude, and Fiona and the Patch group. Our bloggers this series demonstrate how lived experience, alongside research and practise knowledge, can be combined; creating resources and recommendations which could make a genuine impact on their lives of adoptive and special guardian families. 

Nikki Rutter

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Why I Wrote “Decoding Aggression, Complex Behaviours, and Brain-Based Disabilities” Maude Champage

As an adoptive parent and as a professional dedicated to supporting children, youth, and their families, I’ve spent years observing a significant gap in how we approach aggression, complex behaviours, and brain-based disabilities. This gap often leaves families feeling isolated, misunderstood, and without the effective, timely support they desperately need. It was this persistent observation, coupled with a deep desire to bridge that divide, that ultimately led me to write my new book, Decoding Aggression, Complex Behaviours, and Brain-Based Disabilities.

My primary motivation for writing this manual was to get the most current and impactful information directly into the hands of the professionals who work with these families every day.

Far too often, groundbreaking research and effective strategies remain confined to academic journals or specialized conferences, taking too long to filter down to the front lines where they can make a real difference. I envisioned a resource that would empower therapists, educators, social workers, medical professionals, and other caregivers with the latest understanding of aggression in children and youth, equipping them with the tools to provide truly effective and timely support.

The title itself, “Decoding Aggression,” speaks to the core of the book’s purpose. Aggression in children and youth is rarely a simple act. It’s often a complex communication, a symptom of underlying challenges, particularly when brain-based disabilities are present (like ADHD, complex developmental trauma, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and Autism – to name a few). Without a comprehensive understanding of the neurological, developmental, and environmental factors at play, interventions can be ineffective, leading to frustration for both the child and their family.

But this book isn’t just about understanding the causes of aggression, it’s profoundly about supporting the entire family. When a child exhibits aggression or complex behaviours, the impact ripples through every aspect of family life. Parents often experience immense stress, burnout, and social isolation. Siblings may feel neglected or fearful. The family unit as a whole can struggle to maintain a sense of balance and well-being. This is why a central tenet of Decoding Aggression is the unwavering focus on the well-being of all family members impacted by these issues.

I firmly believe that effective support for the child is inextricably linked to robust support for their family. This means equipping professionals not only with strategies to address the child’s behaviours but also with the knowledge and empathy to support the parents, educate the siblings, and help the family navigate the systemic challenges they face. The book emphasizes a holistic, family-centered approach, recognizing that a child’s progress is often accelerated when their family feels empowered, understood, and adequately resourced.

So, who might benefit most from Decoding Aggression, Complex Behaviours, and Brain-Based Disabilities?

Professionals in a wide array of fields will find this manual invaluable:

· Educators and School Psychologists: To better understand and support students exhibiting aggression in the classroom, develop individualized education plans (IEPs) that are truly effective, and collaborate more effectively with families.

· Therapists (e.g., Psychologists, Social Workers, Occupational Therapists, Speech-Language Pathologists): To deepen their clinical understanding of aggression in the context of various brain-based disabilities, refine their intervention strategies, and provide more comprehensive family-based therapy.

· Medical Professionals (e.g., Pediatricians, Psychiatrists, Neurologists): To gain a more nuanced understanding of the behavioral manifestations of neurological conditions and better guide families towards appropriate support services.

· Social Workers and Child Protection Workers: To enhance their ability to assess complex family dynamics, identify underlying needs, and connect families with appropriate community resources.

· Caregivers and Support Staff in Residential Settings: To implement consistent, informed, and compassionate approaches to managing challenging behaviours in their daily interactions.

Ultimately, I wrote Decoding Aggression, Complex Behaviours, and Brain-Based Disabilities out of a profound commitment to improving the lives of children, youth, and their families. It is my hope that this book will serve as a vital bridge, connecting cutting-edge knowledge with practical application, and empowering professionals to deliver the timely, effective, and truly family-centered support that every family deserves.

I have also dedicated this book to:

All family members who have experienced the worry, shame and isolation of caring for a child who struggles with keeping safe and healthy relationships: you are seen, believed and you are not alone.

Maude

You can find the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.ca/Decoding-Aggression-Behaviours-Brain-Based-Disabilities/dp/B0F9214CBZ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1OD69LLLGO2Y6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.kVPzly11CtfGpuQzdiRElh2vLYHAKMcB_nUlVggLmsbGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.zTY5nMhkYFfu5-vaQIkIEVvQ4i4NPpWMZ3ALsIzJGxQ&dib_tag

Find out more about Maude’s work and several resources on her website and social media pages: https://www.maudechampagne.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-maude-champagne-363a322ba/

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Fellowship Work – Al Coates

The start point is my own home, we’re a family made through fostering and adoption. How that came about is their story but the themes of early adversity, separation and loss, then navigating the care system before being grafted into a home and family are common for the majority of adopted, kinship and fostered children. The impact on them doesn’t require too much imagination or knowledge of child trauma to understand. 

The affect of early life challenges cast a long shadow across my children in different ways. Lots of normal parenting challenges but also meltdowns, dysregulation, shouting, threats, refusal, aggression, destruction, bullying and intimidation became our normal. Behaviour supercharged with, what was often, an intensity and duration far beyond behaviour that parents and carers expect. We found ourselves consumed and exhausted by the challenges, constant accommodation, negotiation, regulation and peacekeeping all the while struggling to keep ourselves sane.  

There was an ebb and flow to our lives, we received support some good and some not so good, it would come and go, interventions and support would run it’s course.We managed at times for a period but then would be drawn into extremes of behaviour that would unravel us all. 

This experience specifically inspired me to consider how services support families made through adoption and kinship arrangements beyond short bursts of intervention. For many families the challenges that they face are enduring and span childhood rather than brief moments in time or developmental phases. This question was the spark for my Fellowship*. 

All this made me question how other countries and contexts supported parents and carers in similar circumstances. I knew, anecdotally, of some services in North America but the nature of the issue means that services supporting families are not always that easy to find. The Fellowship’s purpose is to draw learning from international models and then to see it applied to the UK. 

I decided to undertake my learning online mainly because I didn’t know where to go. The silence around this issue is deafening and having been successful in my application I had a mild panic that I would not be able to identify professionals and services to speak to. I’ll not bore you the trail and where it led me but frequently the key links in the chain were parents and carers who had built on their lived experience to then go on and build, develop or work in services that helped other families. 

Peer support was the cornerstone of so many services that I spoke to (Canada, USA, Republic of Ireland etc.). This was no real surprise, peer support offers specific antidotes to parents and carers who often find themselves isolated both in practical terms due to the physical need to be present with their child and to manage the environment but also the relational isolation that so often occurs. Online communities offer a unique opportunity to connect the caregivers in a way that meets the practical challenges but also the instant and reactive nature of many families’ daily lives. 

Trained and supported peer coordinators/mentors working with clinicians offering interventions to families was a model utilised in Canada. The mentors were able to build onto the connections they had with parents and carers delivered low level but immediate interventions. For example,  writing safey plans, identifying supporters and advocacy with other professionals. Beyond this they understood the clinical interventions being offered and spoke directly to the practitioners delivering them. Carers were supported while they waited for interventions, they were offered support in terms of their own wellbeing and then once the interventions drew to the end they didn’t fall off a cliff edge but remained part of the peer community and if necessary could retain access to the clinicians. 

The benefits of community underpinned by interventions were clear, families spoke of feeling held, understood, supported and validated. They could ‘top up’ their knowledge and seek clarification.   Like all families life would take over, children’s behaviour would ebb and flow but the door remained open with families remaining connected and did not have to start from scratch if they wanted help.  

There was so much more discussed across the conversations I spoke with services in Australia about the model of intervention used for families and with practitioners in the US about respite and the needs of children. There was so many valuable conversations that I decided to release over 20 of the interviews as part of the report as well as the three podcasts that I created with my findings. You can view the report summary and listen to the podcasts here.   

There’s no longer a silence in the UK about challenging, violent and aggressive behaviour in children but there remains no clear consensus on how to help families. My hope is to help move that conversation on. My Churchill Fellowship Report is part of that conversation. I hope people find it at least interesting and at best of value. 

*The Churchill Fellowship is a UK charity which supports individual UK citizens to follow their passion for change, through learning from the world and bringing that knowledge back to the UK. Together the community of Churchill Fellows use their international learning to lead the change they wish to see across every area of UK life. 

60% of adoptive parents say they have experienced violent and aggressive behaviour.  Kinship families are often caring for children with similar biographies that can be compounded by the interfamily challenges and the age and circumstances of the carer. 

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Adoption is in crisis — and change is no longer optional | Fiona Wells | The PATCH Steering Group

 

Adoption is in crisis — and change is no longer optional.

We’ve created a full report and an executive summary, both of which include the Impact Pathway — a resource designed to support more effective, trauma-responsive and recovery-focused planning and intervention.

  • PATCH Pathway: Adoption Crisis Brought Into Focus

A comprehensive exploration of what’s going wrong — and what needs to change. It captures the voices of adopters, insights from experts, and the reality of lived experience.

  • PATCH Pathway: Executive Summary

A concise overview for time-pressed professionals. It lays out the key challenges and introduces ideas for real, preventative change.

  • PATCH Impact Pathway: Prevention in Practice (this is highlight in full in both documents above)

A practical approach to ensure support before breakdown — for families, carers, and systems alike.

The truth is simple: we are failing families. Trauma is being ignored. Systems designed to protect are instead contributing to breakdown — and the cost is paid by children, families, society, and the future of social care itself.

If you’re a professional, you already know: recruitment is low, disruptions are rising, and families are breaking down. You know change is needed.

I write to you as an adoptee, an adopter, a social worker, and the founder of PATCH. This work is born from personal experience and professional commitment. It doesn’t claim to have all the answers — but it’s a start. A conversation. A catalyst.

At its core is a simple message: if we don’t change how we treat adopters and foster carers, we won’t have any. And if we don’t support caregivers, parents, and families — we are not supporting children.

One cannot be done without the other.

We invite you to read, reflect, and join us in driving the change that children and families urgently need.

Warmly,

  Fiona Wells 

& The PATCH Steering Group

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Hearing from adopters about living with traumatised young people

In March 2016 I went to Kings Cross to meet with someone I had been talking to on Twitter for a year. Needless to say, my family were horrified! I have just been looking back over our preparatory conversation – lots of nonsense about what we both looked like and whether we would be wearing a rose to recognise each other. Reader, we both survived the experience and became good friends, working together to raise awareness of child to parent violence and abuse and the lack of support particularly for older adolescents and young adults post adoption. 

This last weekend, ‘J’ – because it was her I met, founder of The POTATO Group – and the rest of the POTATO committee, put on a conference in Birmingham: Far, far beyond the adoption order, Lessons from lives impacted by trauma. Organised entirely by themselves, while simultaneously parenting traumatised young people and adults, it was by far one of the most powerful and moving presentations I have ever seen. 

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Support for Adoptive Families

From time to time I receive books for review, particularly where they address the issue of child to parent violence and abuse. Where appropriate, I am pleased to comment on the content and provide comments for review. The new publication from Louise Allen, How to Adopt a Child, Your step-by-step guide to adoption and parenting, was one such book, and I was interested to find out about her comprehensive knowledge and experience of the adoption system. I have attached the review as submitted. You can purchase Louise’s book on Amazon (or through your local independent bookshop!) and you can read more about Louise’s work on her website.

Louise Allen makes it clear from the very first pages that this is a book with adoptive parents and their children at its heart. She writes from personal experience, laying out every aspect of the adoption process, in order that those thinking about adoption might have no surprises later. Not to put people off – unless that is the right response – but to leave you fully informed, fully armed, fully prepared to offer the support, the healing and love that will be needed. There is much about trauma, which will feature heavily for children who find themselves in need of a home. Allen pulls no punches in describing what this looks and feels like for the child, and the consequential feelings for the adults, but she goes on to offer very practical advice that comes from many years of training, parenting, and above all listening to children. As she says, “Living with a violent child that you have committed to love while everyone around you is offering their opinion is hard, very hard”. Allen is here to make it just a little less hard.

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Supporting adoptive families experiencing #CPV: making things better, not worse

This is a post that has been a long time brewing. My thanks to a friend for her contribution in helping me work out the many issues involved. Any errors or lack of clarity in the way this is laid out are down to me.

The experience of violence and abuse from children within adoptive families has been well researched and documented. (See for instance Selwyn et al and the work of Al Coates and Wendy Thorley here and here.) Greater recognition and the provision of the Adoption Support Fund within England have made it slightly easier for parents to access help when needed within the last years, but it remains the case that many families feel let down by services who have misunderstood their requests for help, or their degree of pain, or even the mechanisms by which such violence might have come about. (If you are in any doubt about this, the website of Special Guardians and Adopters Together is a record of the anguish and anger of a group of parents who feel betrayed in this respect by the system.) I can speak personally about the individuals who have contacted me or spoken to me at events. Continue reading

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Therapeutically Parenting Teens, book review time

Julie Selwyn’s groundbreaking report into adoption breakdown  found that around one third of adoptions pass smoothly, around a third of families were mostly getting on OK but with ups and downs, and the other third were having significant difficulties. If you’ve found it as far as my website then I’m assuming you’re probably not in the first third, and if that’s the case you may well be interested in what Sally Donovan has to say in her latest book: The Unofficial Guide to Therapeutic Parenting, The Teen Years. Continue reading

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