There are a number of leaflets and booklets with advice for parents and carers, which can easily be accessed on line. These range from very basic information to encourage recognition of a problem, through to comprehensive advice and support numbers. Some of these include phone numbers or service information that are specific to the area of original publication, but much of the detail is helpful to all.
In choosing resources please remember that it is important to check them for yourself first.
Who’s in Charge? A downloadable booklet for parents created by the team delivering the Who’s in Charge? programme in England. Contains information about child to parent violence, strategies for parents to employ, a directory of Who’s in Charge? programmes in the UK, and lists of other sources of help. (here)
Child to parent violence, You are not alone: South Tyneside Safeguarding Boards have jointly produced an information leaflet about child to parent violence, in partnership with parents. It includes a page which can be torn out to give to friends about ‘how you can help’ recognising that the shame involved may make it otherwise difficult to talk about the experience. Copies are available from the Safeguarding Development Officer
Walking on Eggshells, Child and adolescent violence in the family: booklet and wallet information card available from the Flinders University (S. Australia) website.
Adolescent Violence to Parents: a resource booklet for parents and carers, 2008, Inner South Community Health Service, South Melbourne, Australia (Available here) Very full general information, with list of resources specific to Victoria State
Adolescent Violence in the Home: a resource booklet for parent and carers, 2020, authored by Jo Howard and Denise Friend and published by Star Health, this is an updated version of the July 2008 booklet (above) produced for families in the Gold Coast of Australia. (Available here)
The booklet, Adolescent Violence to Parents: a resource booklet for parents and carers, has now been adapted by a number of councils for use more locally in the UK. For instance this from Cheshire East.
Violence towards parents, Parenting SA, Parent Easy Guide 17 (Available here)
Tips and hints for parents, From “You cant say go and sit on the naughty step because they turn round and say make me” Parentline Plus, 2008 (pdf here)
When your teenager is being violent to you …., a handout from Respect
Parent Abuse: The abuse of parents by their teenage children, prepared by Barbara Cottrell for the Family Violence Prevention Unit, Health Canada, 2001 (pdf here)
Over the top behaviour in the under tens, Family and Parenting Institute 2007 (Adapted for the Welsh audience here.)
The Seven Cs (with difficult to control children), an advice sheet for parents from Eddie Gallagher (here)
Adolescent to parent abuse: the facts. A fact sheet from Queensland Centre for Domestic and Family Violence Research, including details of local services (available here)
Teenage Violence in the Home A poster from Australia, to help parents understand what is happening and what they can do to get help. (here)
In 2015 Darton, Longman and Todd published a book by Islay Downey and Kim Furnish. Parenting a Violent Child presents the reader with a twelve session “virtual parenting group” in a highly accessible form. The authors aim to offer steps to taking back control and creating a happier home.
NEW in October 2020, a Child on Parent Abuse App, developed for Voice Northants, with some general information and contact details specific to the area.
FACEBOOK GROUPS AND WEBSITES FOR PARENTS / CARERS
There are now a number of Facebook and website groups set up to support parents experiencing violence and abuse from their children. They vary in what they offer. Through them you may obtain support and advice from peers or learn more and hear about “local” events and resources.(Country of moderation given for information) See also more information on the Directory page.
Australia:
Adolescent Violence in the Home Community
USA:
Breaking the Cycle Child to Parent Abuse and Violence
Parents of Children with Conduct Disorder
UK:
CAPA First Response, also called Capauk. Offers an initial phonecall, 121 support for parents and carers, and supervision / consultation for professionals working with families impacted by child to parent violence and abuse.
The Silent Suffering of Parents and Carers Abused by Children (log in to Facebook, search for the link and subscribe)
The POTATO Group (parenting adopted teens)
Family Lives have a section on their website (updated in April 2018) offering advice to parents when teenage anger turns to violence.
The SEND VCB Project (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Violent Challenging Behaviour)
EBoo (Escalating behaviours on others) A support group for parents and carers whose children are displaying difficult behaviours, may be hard to manage and feel like they are deliberately targeting certain family members, however there is an unmet need and they are attempting to communicate.
BOOKS for PARENTS AND CARERS
Donovan, S. (2015) The Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London
Donovan, S and Kingswood, C. (2023) The Unofficial Guide to Therapeutic Parenting for Childhood Aggression and Violence, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London
Downey, I and Furnish, K. (2015) Parenting a Violent Child, Darton Longman and Todd, London
Greene, R. (6th edition 2021) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, Harper Paperbacks (here)
Verhagen, H. (2023) Parenting a Child Affected by Child to Parent Violence and Aggression, CoramBAAF Parenting Matters series
HOLES IN THE WALL 